基本禮儀 (Etiquette by Emily Post)

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14314

何謂上流社會? WHAT IS BEST SOCIETY?

上流社會==最老練貴族 構成最長時間保持最高教養者 非成金者; 教養==上流社會基本的屬性 非富豪
Best Society abroad is always the oldest aristocracy; composed not so much of persons of title, which may be new, as of those families and communities which have for the longest period of time known highest cultivation. Our own Best Society is represented by social groups which have had, since this is America, widest rather than longest association with old world cultivation. Cultivation is always the basic attribute of Best Society, much as we hear in this country of an "Aristocracy of wealth."

模造品+本物
The Imitation And The Genuine

禮儀==容易學習振舞些細事作成 禮儀==個性 向外顯現內心性格及對人生態度 (例 :紳士決不誇示 橫柄 卑屈 因為紳士行為不被衝動引起 有怪奇行儀者顯示模仿 非真正高尚地位)
Manners are made up of trivialities of deportment which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manner is personality—the outward manifestation of one's innate character and attitude toward life. A gentleman, for instance, will never be ostentatious or overbearing any more than he will ever be servile, because these attributes never animate the impulses of a well-bred person. A man whose manners suggest the grotesque is invariably a person of imitation rather than of real position.

正確儀禮
The Correct Form

'J夫人 可以紹介S?'
"Mrs. Jones, may I present Mr. Smith?"

後輩紹介給長輩或拔群者 紳士不例外紹介給女性
The younger person is always presented to the older or more distinguished, but a gentleman is always presented to a lady, even though he is an old gentleman of great distinction and the lady a mere slip of a girl.

大總統 樞機卿 或君主以外 女性滿場一致不紹介給男性
No lady is ever, except to the President of the United States, a cardinal, or a reigning sovereign, presented to a man.

必避之紹介形式
Forms Of Introductions To Avoid

可言: 我叔母 我妹 我從弟 但不可言: 我的友人 因為{我的友人} 不僅下品 同時不行儀 含意他人==我的友人對手==外人
You can say "my aunt," or "my sister," or "my cousin"─but to pick out a particular person as "my friend" is not only bad style but, unless you have only one friend, bad manners─as it implies Mrs. Smith is "my friend" and you are a stranger.

高尚趣味者嫌氣被尋問彼氏名 '貴姓?' == 突然 不好意 一般事後向第三者尋問氏名

Most people of good taste very much dislike being asked their names. To say "What is your name?" is always abrupt and unflattering. If you want to know with whom you have been talking, you can generally find a third person later and ask "Who was the lady with the grey feather in her hat?"

何時握手?
When To Shake Hands

紳士彼此紹介時 握手
When gentlemen are introduced to each other they always shake hands.

紳士被紹介給女性時 彼女可能伸手 但對全体不見知人 彼女僅頭低下 言'初對面' 但紳士伸手時 彼女無視==失禮 無愛想自然發生的友情==非常無禮 淑女不可拒否任何握手要求
When a gentleman is introduced to a lady, she sometimes puts out her hand—especially if he is some one she has long heard about from friends in common, but to an entire stranger she generally merely bows her head slightly and says: "How do you do!" Strictly speaking, it is always her place to offer her hand or not as she chooses, but if he puts out his hand, it is rude on her part to ignore it. Nothing could be more ill-bred than to treat curtly any overture made in spontaneous friendliness. No thoroughbred lady would ever refuse to shake any hand that is honorable, not even the hand of a coal heaver at the risk of her fresh white glove.

紹介時敘述
What To Say When Introduced

上流社會 承認紹介僅需要一句 '初見面'
Best Society has only one phrase in acknowledgment of an introduction: "How do you do?"

離開初認識者時
Taking Leave Of One You Have Just Met

談話後: 『願再見! 』『非常感謝!』
After an introduction, when you have talked for some time to a stranger whom you have found agreeable, and you then take leave, you say, "Good-by, I am very glad to have met you," or "Good-by, I hope I shall see you again soon"—or "some time." The other person answers, "Thank you,"

頭低下 曲腰言 『再見!』但嘗試不引起注意
In taking leave of a group of strangers—it makes no difference whether you have been introduced to them or merely included in their conversation—you bow "good-by" to any who happen to be looking at you, but you do not attempt to attract the attention of those who are unaware that you are turning away.

紹介一人給團体
Introducing One Person To A Group

決不紹介一人 在多人出席公式場合 但在小輕食時宿屋主人由彼人客互相紹介
This is never done on formal occasions when a great many persons are present. At a small luncheon, for instance, a hostess always introduces her guests to one another.

友人屋根保護: 在上流社會限親密集會(例 輕食 正餐 社交的宴會 ) 但不在一般娛樂(例 接待 正式舞踏會)接受 禮儀慣例: 人人在食卓必須與鄰人相談
A friend's roof is supposed to be an introduction to those it shelters. In Best Society this is always recognized if the gathering is intimate, such as at a luncheon, dinner or house party; but it is not accepted at a ball or reception, or any "general" entertainment. People always talk to their neighbors at table whether introduced or not. It would be a breach of etiquette not to!

必要時?
Which Are The Necessary Occasions?

重要度之順: 紹介主賓給人客 最無禮事: 不與人客會面
First, in order of importance, is the presentation of everyone to guests of honor, whether the "guests" are distinguished strangers for whom a dinner is given, or a bride and groom, or a debutante being introduced to society. It is the height of rudeness for anyone to go to an entertainment given in honor of some one and fail to "meet" him. (Even though one's memory is too feeble to remember him afterward!)

夕食之順序
Introductions At A Dinner

主賓必須確定紳士認識或被紹介給 淑女及座在反對側人物 否然鄰座者互相自己紹介
The host must always see that every gentleman either knows or is presented to the lady he is to "take in" to dinner, and also, if possible, to the one who is to sit at the other side of him. If the latter introduction is overlooked, people sitting next each other at table nearly always introduce themselves.

其他必然前提
Other Necessary Introductions

大多數規則 由場合彈性地收縮擴大 任何來自身家會面之人前 本能的特別禮儀: 『喜再會』
Most rules are elastic and contract and expand according to circumstances. You do not remind Mrs. Smith of having met her before, but on meeting again any one who was brought to your own house, or one who showed you an especial courtesy you instinctively say, "I am so glad to see you again."

會話中含一部被紹介者
Including Someone In Conversation Without An Introduction

時時 會話中偶然含一人 友人X 加入 『X 建議我 Y』 不論意見關係 彼成為會話之一部分
On occasions it happens that in talking to one person you want to include another in your conversation without making an introduction. For instance: suppose you are talking to a seedsman and a friend joins you in your garden. You greet your friend, and then include her by saying, "Mr. Smith is suggesting that I dig up these cannas and put in delphiniums." Whether your friend gives an opinion as to the change in color of your flower bed or not, she has been made part of your conversation.

不必要紹介
Introductions Unnecessary

除非確信超過疑問兩方一致同意 決不在公共場合互相紹介 紹介不被關心一人給身分高者==逐行社交的失態 特別在共同体之船舶 旅館 等非常難避開對應之小公共場合
You must never introduce people to each other in public places unless you are certain beyond a doubt that the introduction will be agreeable to both. You cannot commit a greater social blunder than to introduce, to a person of position, some one she does not care to know, especially on shipboard, in hotels, or in other very small, rather public, communities where people are so closely thrown together that it is correspondingly difficult to avoid undesirable acquaintances who have been given the wedge of an introduction.

對被遺忘者親切口答
The Retort Courteous To One You Have Forgotten

混亂時言 『記憶得我? 』 禮儀正確對應: 是 如果通過啟蒙話題未發見 最初機會尋問質問者姓名
Let us suppose some one addresses you, and then slightly disconcerted says: "You don't remember me, do you?" The polite thing─unless his manner does not ring true, is to say "Why, of course, I do." And then if a few neutral remarks lead to no enlightening topic, and bring no further memory, you ask at the first opportunity who it was that addressed you.

被紹介後 X呼叫不適切Y 姓名 Y故意不注意 但X固執時 Y可以說 '我姓Y'
If, after being introduced to you, Mr. Jones calls you by a wrong name, you let it pass, at first, but if he persists you may say: "My name is Simpson, not Simpkin."

公共舞踏會時 青年在自身特定小範圍 不會見部外者傾向 此時紳士非常慎重不紹介青年給淑女 除非青年最初尋找她 '一男性X要求與妳會面 X禮儀正確 可以紹介X?'
At a public ball young men and women keep very much to their own particular small circle and are not apt to meet outsiders at all. Under these circumstances a gentleman should be very careful not to introduce a youth whom he knows nothing about to a lady of his acquaintance—or at least he should ask her first. He can say frankly: "There is a man called Sliders who has asked to meet you. I don't know who he is, but he seems decent. Shall I introduce him?" The lady can say "Yes"; or, "I'd rather not."

文書紹介
Introduction By Letter

紹介狀必須開封 作者面前封著正確 後感謝友人
A letter of introduction is handed you unsealed, always. It is correct for you to seal it at once in the presence of its author. You thank your friend for having written it and go on your journey.

被紹介男性必須到著女性家中 預置札在玄關
If you are a man and your introduction is to a lady, you go to her house as soon as you arrive in her city, and leave the letter with your card at her door. Usually you do not ask to see her;

給男性紹介狀 郵送 除非狀==業務用名刺 後者場合到事務所送紹介狀
If your letter is to a man, you mail it to his house, unless the letter is a business one. In the latter case you go to his office, and send in your card and the letter.

女性郵送紹介狀後不動作 除非受信者置名刺
If you are a woman, you mail your letter of social introduction and do nothing further until you receive an acknowledgment. If the recipient of your letter leaves her card on you, you in return leave yours on her.

男性收到紹介受信時 電話上連絡 家中不招待新來者時 根據事務在輕食店提供夕食
When a man receives a letter introducing another man, he calls the person introduced on the telephone and asks how he may be of service to him. If he does not invite the newcomer to his house, he may put him up at his club, or have him take luncheon or dinner at a restaurant, as the circumstances seem to warrant.

第三章 敬語
CHAPTER III GREETINGS

導入時應說言語
What To Say When Introduced

長時間通過一般的友人聽聞一位紳士或淑女 及彼對你多聽聞 你可以說 『非常喜悅會面』
There are a few expressions possible under other circumstances and upon other occasions. If you have, through friends in common, long heard of a certain lady, or gentleman, and you know that she, or he, also has heard much of you, you may say when you are introduced to her: "I am very glad to meet you," or "I am delighted to meet you at last!"

例 對慈善事業志願者 說 『非常感謝助我』
To one who has volunteered to help you in charitable work for instance, you would say: "It is very good of you to help us," or, "to join us."

商業上 紳士說 『非常感謝助我』『非常愉快會面』
In business a gentleman says: "Very glad to meet you," or "Delighted to meet you." Or, if in his own office: "Very glad to see you!"

非公式謝意
Informal Greetings

非非公式祝意如同正式制限 『早安』『平安』
Informal greetings are almost as limited as formal, but not quite; for besides saying "How do you do?" you can say "Good morning" and on occasions "How are you?" or "Good evening."

送別形態 : '再見' 新知人告別之際 握手言 『再見』 『非常高謝會面』
There are only two forms of farewell: "Good-by" and "Good night."
In bidding good-by to a new acquaintance with whom you have been talking, you shake hands and say, "Good-by. I am very glad to have met you."

教會
In Church

結婚式以外 人人在教會互相祝意 結婚式人人與鄰近座有人 低聲調子對談 入教會時應無騷動
People do not greet each other in church, except at a wedding. At weddings people do speak to friends sitting near them, but in a low tone of voice. It would be shocking to enter a church and hear a babel of voices!

通常 在教會友人引目時 微笑 但實際局決不辭儀 被X讓座席時 X退出時 '感謝' 但未踏出教會階段前 不與友人談話 教會環境之嚴肅不允許呼叫
Ordinarily in church if a friend happens to catch your eye, you smile, but never actually bow. If you go to a church not your own and a stranger offers you a seat in her pew, you should, on leaving, turn to her and say: "Thank you." But you do not greet anyone until you are out on the church steps, when you naturally speak to your friends. "Hello" should not be said on this occasion because it is too "familiar" for the solemnity of church surroundings.

握手
Shaking Hands

紳士被紹介時 互相握手 夫人通常不與紳士握手 但與其他鄰近起立淑女握手 單通過人場合 除外 人人互相見面時握手
Gentlemen always shake hands when they are introduced to each other. Ladies rarely do so with gentlemen who are introduced to them; but they usually shake hands with other ladies, if they are standing near together. All people who know each other, unless merely passing by, shake hands when they meet.

握手之個性
Personality Of A Handshake

握手簡潔適切 保留強度+溫暖感 面對面 手有生命 女性允許紳士握手 但不向紳士伸手 對年上友人非常堅定握手
The proper handshake is made briefly; but there should be a feeling of strength and warmth in the clasp, and, as in bowing, one should at the same time look into the countenance of the person whose hand one takes. In giving her hand to a foreigner, a married woman always relaxes her arm and fingers, as it is customary for him to lift her hand to his lips. But by a relaxed hand is not meant a wet rag; a hand should have life even though it be passive. A woman should always allow a man who is only an acquaintance to shake her hand; she should never shake his. To a very old friend she gives a much firmer clasp, but he shakes her hand more than she shakes his.

青年對長輩禮儀
Polite Greetings From Younger To Older

後輩必須向長輩握手
It is the height of rudeness for young people not to go and shake hands with an older lady of their acquaintance when they meet her away from home, if she is a hostess to whose house they have often gone.

淑女入屋時 青年頭低下表示敬意 因為使少女單獨起立非常失禮
If a young man is talking with some one when an older lady enters the room, he bows formally from where he is, as it would be rude to leave a young girl standing alone while he went up to speak to Mrs. Worldly or Mrs. Toplofty. But a young girl passing near an older lady can easily stop for a moment, say "How do you do, Mrs. Jones!" and pass on.

第IV章 敬禮
CHAPTER IV SALUTATIONS OF COURTESY

紳士脫帽子時
When A Gentleman Takes Off His Hat

淑女入昇降機(家屋內)時 紳士脫帽子 但在公共廊下(街道)再置帽子
A gentleman takes off his hat and holds it in his hand when a lady enters the elevator in which he is a passenger, but he puts it on again in the corridor. A public corridor is like the street, but an elevator is suggestive of a room, and a gentleman does not keep his hat on in the presence of ladies in a house.
This is the rule in elevators in hotels, clubs and apartments. In office buildings and stores the elevator is considered as public a place as the corridor.

紳士止與彼知人女性說話 彼左手握有帽子 右手脫帽子後自由地握手 在街道與女性談話時無帽 但步行時被帽 起立狀態時被帽與女性談話非常無禮
When a gentleman stops to speak to a lady of his acquaintance in the street, he takes his hat off with his left hand, leaving his right free to shake hands, or he takes it off with his right and transfers it to his left. If he has a stick, he puts his stick in his left hand, takes off his hat with his right, transfers his hat also to his left hand, and gives her his right. If they walk ahead together, he at once puts his hat on; but while he is standing in the street talking to her, he should remain hatless. There is no rudeness greater than for him to stand talking to a lady with his hat on, and a cigar or cigarette in his mouth.

女性入住宅時 紳士必須起立 但公共場所紳士不需要起立 除非女性給予紳士關注 在料理店紳士僅在女性到著時起立 同時表示辭儀行為後再座
A gentleman always rises when a lady comes into a room. In public places men do not jump up for every strange woman who happens to approach. But if any woman addresses a remark to him, a gentleman at once rises to his feet as he answers her. In a restaurant, when a lady bows to him, a gentleman merely makes the gesture of rising by getting up half way from his chair and at the same time bowing. Then he sits down again.

淑女往紳士業務所時 紳士起立讓位 淑女著席後再座 淑女退離時 既座起立
When a lady goes to a gentleman's office on business he should stand up to receive her, offer her a chair, and not sit down until after she is seated. When she rises to leave, he must get up instantly and stand until she has left the office.

儀式之辭儀
The Bow Of Ceremony

通常 晚餐會對應人客拍手時 紳士起立致詞
The standing bow, made by a gentleman when he rises at a dinner to say a few words, in response to applause, or across a drawing-room at a formal dinner when he bows to a lady or an elderly gentleman, is usually the outcome of the bow taught little boys at dancing school.

表示敬意時 紳士不單脫帽 同時辭儀注視人 顯示 密結後足 堅定膝關節 及嚴肅表情
In every form of bow, as distinct from merely lifting his hat, a gentleman looks at the person he is bowing to. In a very formal standing bow, his heels come together, his knees are rigid and his expression is rather serious.

有魅力女性之辭儀
The Bow Of A Woman Of Charm

未面識者 淑女保持微笑 說 '感謝' 人生中微笑比氣轉機知更貴重 微笑提攜友人 機知提攜敵人
Even to a stranger who does her a favor, a woman of charm always smiles as she says "Thank you!" As a possession for either woman or man, a ready smile is more valuable in life than a ready wit; the latter may sometimes bring enemies, but the former always brings friends.

When To Bow
何時敬意辭儀?

正式狀況 淑女向紳士敬意 但互相認識者 自然互相表示敬意 不認知他人敬意==不履行禮儀
Under formal circumstances a lady is supposed to bow to a gentleman first; but people who know each other well bow spontaneously without observing this etiquette.
For one person to look directly at another and not acknowledge the other's bow is such a breach of civility that only an unforgivable misdemeanor can warrant the rebuke.

第V章 公共場所
CHAPTER V ON THE STREET AND IN PUBLIC

在街道步行
Walking On The Street

紳士與淑女共步時 紳士取鋪道之?石側面 決不插入在淑女中間
A gentleman, whether walking with two ladies or one, takes the curb side of the pavement. He should never sandwich himself between them.

青年與女性共步時 決不引起他人注意 不熱心過度 不大聲說話 彼決不在彼女肘上握取彼女手腕 除非救女性時 步行時決不沿路亂打木柱或棒 喫菸及咀嚼
A young man walking with a young woman should be careful that his manner in no way draws attention to her or to himself. Too devoted a manner is always conspicuous, and so is loud talking. Under no circumstances should he take her arm, or grasp her by or above the elbow, and shove her here and there, unless, of course, to save her from being run over! He should not walk along hitting things with his stick. The small boy's delight in drawing a stick along a picket fence should be curbed in the nursery! And it is scarcely necessary to add that no gentleman walks along the street chewing gum or, if he is walking with a lady, puffing a cigar or cigarette.

公共場所 慎重不大聲說話 注意避免發音人名等引起眾人注意
All people in the streets, or anywhere in public, should be careful not to talk too loud. They should especially avoid pronouncing people's names, or making personal remarks that may attract passing attention or give a clue to themselves.

除了絕對不可避免場合 決不公然呼叫人名 (例 野球觀戰觀眾中與友人分離女性 在日傘上覆蓋帽子 引起友人注意)
One should never call out a name in public, unless it is absolutely unavoidable. A young girl who was separated from her friends in a baseball crowd had the presence of mind to put her hat on her parasol and lift it above the people surrounding her so that her friends might find her.

不公然引起注意==基本教養 避顯著流儀 衣服 大聲 凝視 打人 橫斷談話 在公共場所不露出私人的問題或思想
Do not attract attention to yourself in public. This is one of the fundamental rules of good breeding. Shun conspicuous manners, conspicuous clothes, a loud voice, staring at people, knocking into them, talking across anyone—in a word do not attract attention to yourself. Do not expose your private affairs, feelings or innermost thoughts in public. You are knocking down the walls of your house when you do.

紳士伸出手時
A Gentleman Offers His Arm

紳士向婆或病人伸手支援必要 但淑女不在日間傾向紳士 除非在混雜往來荒片道路上援助 夜中與淑女同伴紳士在家段階下或遠距離步行向女性伸手扶持 To an old lady or to an invalid a gentleman offers his arm if either of them wants his support. Otherwise a lady no longer leans upon a gentleman in the daytime, unless to cross a very crowded thoroughfare, or to be helped over a rough piece of road, or under other impeding circumstances. In accompanying a lady anywhere at night, whether down the steps of a house, or from one building to another, or when walking a distance, a gentleman always offers his arm. The reason is that in her thin high-heeled slippers, and when it is too dark to see her foothold clearly, she is likely to trip.

淑女決不在'左方'
A Lady Never "On The Left"

主人座在自動車後右端 主人==男性時 紳士必須謙讓右座給女性 自家輸送 車中 女性決不座在紳士左端
The owner always sits on the right hand side of the rear seat of a carriage or a motor, that is driven by a coachman or a chauffeur. If the vehicle belongs to a lady, she should take her own place always, unless she relinquishes it to a guest whose rank is above her own, such as that of the wife of the President or the Governor. If a man is the owner, he must, on the contrary, give a lady the right hand seat. Whether in a private carriage, a car or a taxi, a lady must never sit on a gentleman's left;

支付厄介問題
Awkward Questions Of Payment

通例: 紳士不抗議女性主張支付雜誌 砂糖 或?子 但紳士通常同時支付淑女球技 茶會 地下鐵入場卷及輕食
It is becoming much less customary than it used to be for a gentleman to offer to pay a lady's way. If in taking a ferry or a subway, a young woman stops to buy magazines, chocolates, or other trifles, a young man accompanying her usually offers to pay for them. She quite as usually answers: "Don't bother, I have it!" and puts the change on the counter. It would be awkward for him to protest, and bad taste to press the point. But usually in small matters such as a subway fare, he pays for two. If he invites her to go to a ball game, or to a matinee or to tea, he naturally buys the tickets and any refreshment which they may have.

列車或船或飛行機上 偶然與女性鄰座紳士 決不支付彼向業者購買座位
A gentleman who is by chance sitting next to a lady of his acquaintance on a train or boat, should never think of offering to pay for her seat or for anything she may buy from the vendor.

護衛者
The "Escort"

上流社會 淑女決不單獨由紳士護衛
In good society ladies do not go about under the "care of" gentlemen! It is unheard of for a gentleman to "take" a young girl alone to a dance or to dine or to parties of any description;

必須友人送淑女招待狀後 紳士與淑女同伴
A lady may never be under the "protection" of a man anywhere! A young girl is not even taken about by her betrothed. His friends send invitations to her on his account, it is true, and, if possible,
he accompanies her, but correct invitations must be sent by them to her, or she should not go.

飲食店
The Restaurant Check

支付飲食費用 : 主人合計項目時顯示極度簡約 不顧合計項目時顯示無謀 人客顏前支付顯示恥辱 因此食物注文同時 含給仕TIP預先支付費用
Everyone has at some time or other been subjected to the awkward moment when the waiter presents the check to the host. For a host to count up the items is suggestive of parsimony, while not to look at them is disconcertingly reckless, and to pay before their faces for what his guests have eaten is embarrassing. Having the check presented to a hostess when gentlemen are among her guests, is more unpleasant. Therefore, to avoid this whole transaction, people who have not charge accounts, should order the meal ahead, and at the same time pay for it in advance, including the waiter's tip.

店內
In Stores Or Shops

對店員考慮不足無禮==欠修養+利己主義證據
Lack of consideration for those who in any capacity serve you, is always an evidence of ill-breeding, as well as of inexcusable selfishness.

一流之店無摩擦 通常販賣員禮儀正確 忍慢顧客要求
There are always two sides to the case, of course, and it is a credit to good manners that there is scarcely ever any friction in stores and shops of the first class. Salesmen and women are usually persons who are both patient and polite, and their customers are most often ladies in fact as well as "by courtesy."

尊敬他人
Regard For Others

禮儀規則:
Rule of etiquette the first─which hundreds of others merely paraphrase or explain or elaborate─is:

己所不欲 勿施於人
Never do anything that is unpleasant to others.

決不取得超過個人份量: (道路中 列車 船上食物桌)
Never take more than your share─whether of the road in driving a car, of chairs on a boat or seats on a train, or food at the table.

沿一般道路 不殘留散亂紙 脂肪==暫時占領所有地者尊敬地主方法
People who picnic along the public highway leaving a clutter of greasy paper and swill (not, a pretty name, but neither is it a pretty object!) for other people to walk or drive past, and to make a breeding place for flies, and furnish nourishment for rats, choose a disgusting way to repay the land-owner for the liberty they took in temporarily occupying his property.

第VI章 劇場及公的集會
CHAPTER VI AT THE OPERA, THE THEATER, AND OTHER PUBLIC GATHERINGS

入劇場玄關之際 紳士置外套於席內 但一直攜帶帽子
In walking about in the foyer of the opera house, a gentleman leaves his coat in the box—or in his orchestra chair—but he always wears his high hat. The "collapsible" hat is for use in the seats rather than in the boxes, but it can be worn perfectly well by a guest in the latter if he hasn't a "silk" one. A gentleman must always be in full dress, tail coat, white waistcoat, white tie and white gloves whether he is seated in the orchestra or a box. He wears white gloves nowhere else except at a ball, or when usher at a wedding.

歌劇前 紳士與淑女通常共事晚餐 一齊到著 紳士助淑女脫外衣 最近席座紳士引揚幕壁 淑女著席後 紳士著席 超過一人女性時 先輩先入席 後輩在席中最遠處
As people usually dine with their hostess before the opera, they arrive together; the gentlemen assist the ladies to lay off their wraps, one of the gentlemen (whichever is nearest) draws back the curtain dividing the ante-room from the box, and the ladies enter, followed by the gentlemen, the last of whom closes the curtain again. If there are two ladies besides the hostess, the latter places her most distinguished or older guest in the corner nearest the stage. The seat furthest from the stage is always her own. The older guest takes her seat first, then the hostess takes her place, whereupon the third lady goes forward in the center to the front of the box, and stands until one of the gentlemen places a chair for her between the other two. (The chairs are arranged in three rows, of one on either side with an aisle left between.)

紳士義務之1 : 幕壁閉 因為日光對聽眾非常不愉快
One of the duties of the gentlemen is to see that the curtains at the back of the box remain tightly closed, as the light from the ante-room shining in the faces of others in the audience across the house is very disagreeable to them.

紳士決不座席最前列
A gentleman never sits in the front row of a box, even though he is for a time alone in it.

關於訪問
As To Visiting

紳士的人客 習慣幕間訪問他箱中友人 但決不訪問有未認識淑女箱內 除非女性向第三者同意因為歌劇箱==類似淑女家屋
It is the custom for a gentleman who is a guest in one box to pay visits to friends in other boxes during the entr'actes. He must visit none but ladies of his acquaintance and must never enter a box in which he knows only the gentlemen, and expect to be introduced to the ladies. If Arthur Norman, for instance, wishes to present a gentleman to Mrs. Gilding in her box at the opera, he must first ask her if he may bring his friend James Dawson. (He would on no account speak of him as Mr. Dawson unless he is an elderly person.) A lady's box at the opera is actually her house, and only those who are acceptable as visitors in her house should ask to be admitted.

但允許紳士訪問在歌劇箱內女性友人 不允許訪問未認識者之歌劇箱 紳士進入歌劇箱後 淑女後座義務的放棄後座 又禮儀上紳士決不放任彼自身歌劇箱之女性獨身
But it is quite correct for a gentleman to go into a stranger's box to speak to a lady who is a friend of his, just as he would go to see her if she were staying in a stranger's house. But he should not go into the box of one he does not know, to speak to a lady with whom he has only a slight acquaintance, since visits are not paid quite so casually to ladies who are themselves visitors. Upon a gentleman's entering a box it is obligatory for whoever is sitting behind the lady to whom the arriving gentleman's visit is addressed, to relinquish his chair. Another point of etiquette is that a gentleman must never leave the ladies of his own box alone.

幕下後 紳士決不滯在他人歌劇箱 或演奏間與他人會話 遲到或早到時保持靜肅
A gentleman must never stay in any box that he does not belong in, after the lowering of the lights for the curtain. Nor, in spite of cartoons to the contrary, does good taste permit conversation during the performance or during the overture. Box holders arriving late or leaving before the final curtain do so as quietly as possible and always without speaking.

演奏後
After The Performance

紳士在會見室等待一直到淑女乘車離開 紳士決不允許淑女單獨身 主人有義務運送淑女歸家 但不包括夫婦 但淑女呼叫自身車時 紳士與淑女共等待 淑女感謝後單獨離開或給紳士乘車同等適切
One gentleman, at least, must wait in the carriage lobby until all the ladies in his party have driven away. Never under any circumstances may "the last" gentleman leave a lady standing alone on the sidewalk. It is the duty of the hostess to take all unattended ladies home who have not a private conveyance of their own, but the obligation does not extend to married couples or odd men. But if a married lady or widow has ordered her own car to come for her, the odd gentleman waits with her until it appears. It is then considerate for her to offer him a "lift," but it is equally proper for her to thank him for waiting and drive off alone.

預買入場卷
Tickets Bought In Advance

招誘行往特定公共場所時 決不允許人客整列編隊
It is really unnecessary to add that one must never ask people to go to a place of public amusement and then stand in line to get seats at the time of the performance.

劇場通路下
Going Down The Aisle Of A Theater

主人指示帶入場卷紳士入座 確定鄰座者互相認識 因為妨礙列道通路行進非常愚惡 (例 女性通路優先權 妨礙紳士後著席問題)
The host, or whichever gentleman has the tickets, (if there is no host, the hostess usually hands them to one of the, gentlemen before leaving her house), goes down the aisle first and gives the checks to the usher, and the others follow in the order in which they are to sit and which the hostess must direct. It is necessary that each knows who follows whom, particularly if a theater party arrives after the curtain has gone up. If the hostess "forgets," the guests always ask before trooping down the aisle "How do you want us to sit?" For nothing is more awkward and stupid than to block the aisle at the row where their seats are, while their hostess "sorts them"; and worse yet, in her effort to be polite, sends the ladies to their seats first and then lets the gentlemen stumble across them to their own places. Going down the aisle is not a question of precedence, but a question of seating. The one who is to sit eighth from the aisle, whether a lady or a gentleman, goes first, then the seventh, then the sixth, and if the gentleman with the checks is fifth, he goes in his turn and the fourth follows him.

劇場優良禮儀
Good Manners At The Theater

通過著席人側面之際 不忘一直向正面注視 押住席之後部 但不接觸座席者頭髮
In passing across people who are seated, always face the stage and press as close to the backs of the seats you are facing as you can. Remember also not to drag anything across the heads of those sitting in front of you. At the moving pictures, especially when it is dark and difficult to see, a coat on an arm passing behind a chair can literally devastate the hair-dressing of a lady occupying it.

通過交差起立中座席者時 說 '失禮'
If you are obliged to cross in front of some one who gets up to let you pass, say "Thank you," or "Thank you very much" or "I am very sorry."

紳士座在通路側之席 不干擾他人視點 不作劇場病害蟲
Gentlemen who want to go out after every act should always be sure to get aisle seats. There are no greater theater pests than those who come back after the curtain has gone up and temporarily snuff out the view of everyone behind, as well as annoy those who are obliged to stand up and let them by.

劇場中 忍笑或冗談==非常輕率
Nothing shows less consideration for others than to whisper and rattle programmers and giggle and even make audible remarks throughout a performance.

劇場中 後座者談話時 轉身目視==非常不得策
If those behind you insist on talking it is never good policy to turn around and glare.

預先送入場卷禮儀
The Courtesy Of Sending Tickets Early

歌劇當日轉送入場卷==突然
An opera box sent on the morning of the opera is worse, since to find four music-loving people to fill it on such short notice at the height of the season is an undertaking that few care to attempt.

不遲刻
Don't Be Late

劇場前正燦不許遲刻
When you are dining before going to the opera or theater you must arrive on the stroke of the hour for which you are asked; it is one occasion when it is inexcusable to be late.

劇場後接應食物招待時 決不遲刻 輕視準時==利己主義
In accepting an invitation for lunch or dinner after which you are going to a game, or any sort of performance, you must not be late! Nothing is more unfair to others who are keen about whatever it is you are going to see, than to make them miss the beginning of a performance through your thoughtless selfishness.

第VII章: 會話
CHAPTER VII CONVERSATION

相互關係之必要性
Need Of Reciprocity

理想的會話: 多聽少說 能辯話手不給他人機會談話
Ideal conversation should be a matter of equal give and take, but too often it is all "take." The voluble talker—or chatterer—rides his own hobby straight through the hours without giving anyone else, who might also like to say something, a chance to do other than exhaustedly await the turn that never comes.

原則上 自信能辯話手==病害蟲
But as a rule the man who has been led to believe that he is a brilliant and interesting talker has been led to make himself a rapacious pest.

簡單控制多辨規則: 話前多熟慮
There is a simple rule, by which if one is a voluble chatterer (to be a good talker necessitates a good mind) one can at least refrain from being a pest or a bore. And the rule is merely, to stop and think.

話前多熟慮
"Think Before You Speak"

會話中大部分誤失==未思考 修養第一課: 僅說使他人快樂言語
Nearly all the faults or mistakes in conversation are caused by not thinking. For instance, a first rule for behavior in society is: "Try to do and say those things only which will be agreeable to others." Yet how many people, who really know better, people who are perfectly capable of intelligent understanding if they didn't let their brains remain asleep or locked tight, go night after night to dinner parties, day after day to other social gatherings, and absent-mindedly prate about this or that without ever taking the trouble to think what they are saying and to whom they are saying it!

不再三同一話 初簡潔言語 長時間單調
Try not to repeat yourself; either by telling the same story again and again or by going back over details of your narrative that seemed especially to interest or amuse your hearer. Many things are of interest when briefly told and for the first time; nothing interests when too long dwelt upon; little interests that is told a second time.

注意不使愛想議論變成矛盾或爭論 如才者隱秘密彼偏見 反對意見時僅表示 『不同意』 『私見如此』 決不說 『不妥當』 『非』 對全然反對意見 彼迅快切替往別話題
Be careful not to let amiable discussion turn into contradiction and argument. The tactful person keeps his prejudices to himself and even when involved in a discussion says quietly "No. I don't think I agree with you" or "It seems to me thus and so." One who is well-bred never says "You are wrong!" or "Nothing of the kind!" If he finds another's opinion utterly opposed to his own, he switches to another subject for a pleasanter channel of conversation.

諧謔之贈與
The Gift Of Humor

愉快 魅惑的人最受歡迎
The joy of joys is the person of light but unmalicious humor. If you know any one who is gay, beguiling and amusing, you will, if you are wise, do everything you can to make him prefer your house and your table to any other; for where he is, the successful party is also. What he says is of no matter, it is the twist he gives to it, the intonation, the personality he puts into his quip or retort or observation that delights his hearers, and in his case the ordinary rules do not apply.

選擇話題
Going Fishing For Topics

魅力的話手類似漁師 選擇對手關心話題 『餌』 試提供話題2~3次執一直到『上餌』
The charming talker is neither more nor less than a fisherman. (Fisherwoman rather, since in America women make more effort to be agreeable than men do.) Sitting next to a stranger she wonders which "fly" she had better choose to interest him. She offers one topic; not much of a nibble. So she tries another or perhaps a third before he "rises" to the bait.

愚劣失敗
Tactless Blunderers

嘲笑 批判他人==危險 不必要 不受歡迎; 說 『醜女』 『精神病患』引起不必要注意
It is also dangerous, as well as needlessly unkind, to ridicule or criticize others, especially for what they can't help. If a young woman's familiar or otherwise lax behavior deserves censure, a casual unflattering remark may not add to your own popularity if your listener is a relative, but you can at least, without being shamefaced, stand by your guns. On the other hand to say needlessly "What an ugly girl!" or "What a half-wit that boy is!" can be of no value except in drawing attention to your own tactlessness.

退屈
The Bore

退屈者==關心自己者 主張他人共有彼之熱意
A bore is said to be "one who talks about himself when you want to talk about yourself!" which is superficially true enough, but a bore might more accurately be described as one who is interested in what does not interest you, and insists that you share his enthusiasm, in spite of your disinclination.

反復==致命的無味乾燥
On the other hand, to be bored is a bad habit, and one only too easy to fall into. As a matter of fact, it is impossible, almost, to meet anyone who has not something of interest to tell you if you are but clever enough yourself to find out what it is. There are certain always delightful people who refuse to be bored. Their attitude is that no subject need ever be utterly uninteresting, so long as it is discussed for the first time. Repetition alone is deadly dull.

會話中重要詳細
A Few Important Details Of Speech In Conversation

決不自稱夫妻== 『先生』 『夫人』
Unless you wish to stamp yourself a person who has never been out of "provincial" society, never speak of your husband as "Mr." except to an inferior.

會話決不包括 『客間外』話題 (例: 手術 病氣 個人傷 個人的冗談)
Also you must not take your conversation "out of the drawing-room." Operations, ills or personal blemishes, details and appurtenances of the dressing-room, for instance, are neither suitable nor pleasant topics, nor are personal jokes in good taste.

富豪之 『全知』
The "Omniscience" Of The Very Rich

心理學家同意大部分富豪假定自己知識全知 絕對無誤
Why a man, because he has millions, should assume that they confer omniscience in all branches of knowledge, is something which may be left to the psychologist to answer, but most of those thrown much in contact with millionaires will agree that an attitude of infallibility is typical of a fair majority.

必避危險
Dangers To Be Avoided

會話中危險 (避詳述 病氣 不幸 及其他不愉快經驗) 過度刺激機知產生不信用感
In conversation the dangers are very much the same as those to be avoided in writing letters. Talk about things which you think will be agreeable to your hearer. Don't dilate on ills, misfortune, or other unpleasantnesses. The one in greatest danger of making enemies is the man or woman of brilliant wit. If sharp, wit is apt to produce a feeling of mistrust even while it stimulates.

保持不批判的態度習慣 保持良心方法: 想像友人偶然聽到批判言語
You need not, however, be dull because you refrain from the rank habit of a critical attitude, which like a weed will grow all over the place if you let it have half a chance. A very good resolve to make and keep, if you would also keep any friends you make, is never to speak of anyone without, in imagination, having them overhear what you say.

最賢明會話: 滿場一致使對手顯示賢明
Do not be too apparently clever if you would be popular. The cleverest woman is she who, in talking to a man, makes him seem clever. This was Mme. Recamier's great charm.

對多話者金言
A Few Maxims For Those Who Talk Too Much—And Easily!

多言之欠點比省略之欠點更重大 後悔 頻度
The faults of commission are far more serious than those of omission; regrets are seldom for what you left unsaid.

多言者暴露彼淺薄心 保持沉默者不讓深處探
The chatterer reveals every corner of his shallow mind; one who keeps silent can not have his depth plumbed.

不偽裝博聞:
Don't pretend to know more than you do. To say you have read a book and then seemingly to understand nothing of what you have read, proves you a half-wit. Only the very small mind hesitates to say "I don't know."

發言前熟慮: 最終及唯一規則:　思考後使話題引起鄰人關心
Above all, stop and think what you are saying! This is really the first, last and only rule. If you "stop" you can't chatter or expound or flounder ceaselessly, and if you think, you will find a topic and a manner of presenting your topic so that your neighbor will be interested rather than long-suffering.

同情的聽者: 喜中喜 外觀上表示切望 自然發生的專念 表面熱心者 掌握會話之藝術
Remember also that the sympathetic (not apathetic) listener is the delight of delights. The person who looks glad to see you, who is seemingly eager for your news, or enthralled with your conversation; who looks at you with a kindling of the face, and gives you spontaneous and undivided attention, is the one to whom the palm for the art of conversation would undoubtedly be awarded.

第VIII章: 單語 句 及發音
CHAPTER VIII WORDS, PHRASES AND PRONUNCIATION

培育快語方法
How To Cultivate An Agreeable Speech

保持低聲 微笑 避免不明確發音
First of all, remember that while affectation is odious, crudeness must be overcome. A low voice is always pleasing, not whispered or murmured, but low in pitch. Do not talk at the top of your head, nor at the top of your lungs. Do not slur whole sentences together; on the other hand, do not pronounce as though each syllable were a separate tongue and lip exercise.

CHAPTER IX ONE'S POSITION IN THE COMMUNITY
第IX章 共同体之人之地位

人生之銀行
The Bank Of Life

得共同体之讚美及名譽方法: 支付越多 獲得越多
If your community is to give you admiration and honor, it is merely necessary to be admirable and honorable. The more you put in, the more will be paid out to you. It is too trite to put on paper! But it is astonishing, isn't it, how many people who are depositing nothing whatever, expect to be paid in admiration and respect?

高社會地位者==偉大的國民 否則彼僅是空洞的人形 同樣女性之虛榮及利己主義如同化妝品接著劑
A man of really high position is always a great citizen first and above all. Otherwise he is a hollow puppet whether he is a millionaire or has scarcely a dime to bless himself with. In the same way, a woman's social position that is built on sham, vanity, and selfishness, is like one of the buildings at an exposition; effective at first sight, but bound when slightly weather-beaten to show stucco and glue.

良家之新婦
The Bride Of Good Family

禮儀上 女性訪問彼女及夫家族
As it is etiquette for everyone when calling for the first time on a bride, to ask if she is in, the bride, in returning her first calls, should do likewise. As a matter of fact, a bride assumes the intimate visiting list of both her own and her husband's families, whether they call on her or not. By and by, if she gives a general tea or ball, she can invite whom, among them, she wants to.

本當有教養人: 魅力 但不露感情 對高值或卑微者一視同仁
A really well-bred person is as charming as possible to all, but effusive to none, and shows no difference in manner either, to the high or to the lowly when they are of equally formal acquaintance.

第X章: 名片及訪問
CHAPTER X CARDS AND VISITS

禮儀上絕對要求受招待用餐數日後殘留名片 或初次受誘餐食時 不殘留名片==失禮
Etiquette absolutely demands that one leave a card within a few days after taking a first meal in a lady's house; or if one has for the first time been invited to lunch or dine with strangers, it is inexcusably rude not to leave a card upon them, whether one accepted the invitation or not.

禮儀上絕對不拒否返第一次電話
One must also unfailingly return a first call, even if one does not care for the acquaintance. Only a real "cause" can excuse the affront to an innocent stranger that the refusal to return a first call would imply. If one does not care to continue the acquaintance, one need not pay a second visit.

不殘留名片給苦於最近死別之人==完全無情
It seems scarcely necessary to add that anyone not entirely heartless must leave a card on, or send flowers to, an acquaintance who has suffered a recent bereavement. One should also leave cards of inquiry or send flowers to sick people.

不在家
"Not At Home"

『不在家』之言句意味 『不見訪問者』 不含意 『不在家中』
When a servant at a door says "Not at home," this phrase means that the lady of the house is "Not at home to visitors." This answer neither signifies nor implies─nor is it intended to─that Mrs. Jones is out of the house.

遺留給友人 『X 5點歸家』 給外人 『不在家』 名片
Therefore, it is of the utmost importance always to leave directions at the door such as, "Mrs. Jones is not at home." "Miss Jones will be home at five o'clock," "Mrs. Jones will be home at 5.30," or Mrs. Jones "is at home" in the library to intimate friends, but "not at home" in the drawing-room to acquaintances.

必要訪問
Visits Which Everyone Must Pay

友人肉親過世後一定訪問 女性不訪問紳士 僅寫共感NOTE
Paying visits differs from leaving cards in that you must ask to be received. A visit of condolence should be paid at once to a friend when a death occurs in her immediate family. A lady does not call on a gentleman, but writes him a note of sympathy.

訪問病人時 給書本 果物等贈物
In going to inquire for sick people, you should ask to be received, and it is always thoughtful to take them gifts of books or fruit or flowers.

新母親祝福訪問
A visit of congratulation is also paid to a new mother and a gift invariably presented to the baby.

名片上傳言
Messages Written On Cards

『共感』 『心中共鳴』 寫在名片上 + 花 殘留在家外段階
"With sympathy" or "With deepest sympathy" is written on your visiting card with flowers sent to a funeral. This same message is written on a card and left at the door of a house of mourning, if you do not know the family well enough to ask to be received.

訪問未知女性時 對社會地位高者不殘留必要名片
In going to see a friend who is visiting a lady whom you do not know, whether you should leave a card on the hostess as well as on your friend depends upon the circumstances: if the hostess is one who is socially prominent and you are unknown, it would be better taste not to leave a card on her, since your card afterward found without explanation might be interpreted as an uncalled-for visit made in an attempt for a place on her list. If, on the other hand, she is the unknown person and you are the prominent one, your card is polite, but unwise unless you mean to include her name on your list. But if she is one with whom you have many interests in common, then you may very properly leave a card for her.

在旅館殘留名片 在先端用鉛筆寫名
In leaving a card on a lady stopping at a hotel or living in an apartment house, you should write her name in pencil across the top of your card, to insure its being given to her, and not to some one else.

未見女性在家 殘留名片 『好意』 『失禮』
At the house of a lady whom you know well and whom you are sorry not to find at home, it is "friendly" to write "Sorry not to see you!" or "So sorry to miss you!"

最初訪問
How A First Visit Is Made

先輩訪問後輩 社會的卓越人應先訪問 或招待後輩
The older residents always call on the newer. And the person of greatest social prominence should make the first visit, or at least invite the younger or less prominent one to call on her; which the younger should promptly do.

同等年令位置 『願在會面』 『喜望』
Or two ladies of equal age or position may either one say, "I wish you would come to see me." To which the other replies "I will with pleasure." More usually the first one offers "I should like to come to see you, if I may." And the other, of course, answers "I shall be delighted if you will."

受結婚式招待者必須新婚旅行後訪問彼女 禮儀上 絕對要求男性友人鄰人 在彼女到得新家時訪問彼女
Everyone invited to a wedding should call upon the bride on her return from the honeymoon. And when a man marries a girl from a distant place, courtesy absolutely demands that his friends and neighbors call on her as soon as she arrives in her new home.

入客間方法
How To Enter A Drawing-room

入客間方法==教養最高試驗 類似 順調 靜穩水泳 『多時間 不苦鬥 不飛散』 入客間方法: 在部屋入口瞬間止步 往主人方向觀察往女主人最接近方法 紳士步行往女主人 微笑地握手 彼女與近方之知人握手 與遠方之知人辭儀
To know how to enter a drawing-room is supposed to be one of the supreme tests of good breeding. But there should be no more difficulty in entering the drawing-room of Mrs. Worldly than in entering the sitting-room at home. Perhaps the best instruction would be like that in learning to swim. "Take plenty of time, don't struggle and don't splash about!" Good manners socially are not unlike swimming—not the "crawl" or "overhand," but smooth, tranquil swimming. (Quite probably where the expression "in the swim" came from anyway!) Before actually entering a room, it is easiest to pause long enough to see where the hostess is. Never start forward and then try to find her as an afterthought. The place to pause is on the threshold—not half-way in the room. The way not to enter a drawing-room is to dart forward and then stand awkwardly bewildered and looking about in every direction. A man of the world stops at the entrance of the room for a scarcely perceptible moment, until he perceives the most unencumbered approach to the hostess, and he thereupon walks over to her. When he greets his hostess he pauses slightly, the hostess smiles and offers her hand; the gentleman smiles and shakes hands, at the same time bowing. A lady shakes hands with the hostess and with every one she knows who is nearby. She bows to acquaintances at a distance and to strangers to whom she is introduced.

優雅座方法
How To Sit Gracefully

主人共握手時 訪問者靜 不急座著 優雅座方法: 不硬直座在椅子 不十分不規則地廣伸手足 保持莊嚴 簡單姿式 不橫斷膝 不突出手足 不手觸 不然合背骨 不兩手腰張 不誇張動作 在公共場所 女性絕不橫斷SOFA
Having shaken hands with the hostess, the visitor, whether a lady or a gentleman, looks about quietly, without hurry, for a convenient chair to sit down upon, or drop into. To sit gracefully one should not perch stiffly on the edge of a straight chair, nor sprawl at length in an easy one. The perfect position is one that is easy, but dignified. In other days, no lady of dignity ever crossed her knees, held her hands on her hips, or twisted herself sideways, or even leaned back in her chair! To-day all these things are done; and the only etiquette left is on the subject of how not to exaggerate them. No lady should cross her knees so that her skirts go up to or above them; neither should her foot be thrust out so that her toes are at knee level. An arm a-kimbo is not a graceful attitude, nor is a twisted spine! Everyone, of course, leans against a chair back, except in a box at the opera and in a ballroom, but a lady should never throw herself almost at full length in a reclining chair or on a wide sofa when she is out in public. Neither does a gentleman in paying a formal visit sit on the middle of his backbone with one ankle supported on the other knee, and both as high as his head.

淑女適切座方法: 椅子中央 SOFA輕傾斜 手緩和在膝上 兩膝合併 或兩膝交差時 不允許前方足首與另一後足空間
The proper way for a lady to sit is in the center of her chair, or slightly sideways in the corner of a sofa. She may lean back, of course, and easily; her hands relaxed in her lap, her knees together, or if crossed, her foot must not be thrust forward so as to leave a space between the heel and her other ankle.

紳士在非常正式時 椅子中央座 輕傾斜 一手或臂置於手腕上
A gentleman, also on very formal occasions, should sit in the center of his chair; but unless it is a deep lounging one, he always leans against the back and puts a hand or an elbow on its arms.

訪問之追伸
Postscripts On Visits

淑女絕不在非夫或父親之紳士同行下訪問 少女在婚約者同伴下被要求訪問非常適切
A lady never calls on another under the sponsorship of a gentleman—unless he is her husband or father. A young girl can very properly go with her fiance to return visit paid to her by members or friends of his family; but she should not pay an initial visit unless to an invalid who has written her a note asking her to do so.

到著女性家後 置名刺(片)後歸家
If, when arriving at a lady's house, you find her motor at the door, you should leave your card as though she were not at home. If she happens to be in the hall, or coming down the steps, you say "I see you are going out, and I won't keep you!"

彼主張你少間滯在時 座著2~3分後退出
If she insists on your coming in, you should stay only a moment. Do not, however, fidget and talk about leaving. Sit down as though your leaving immediately were not on your mind, but after two or three minutes say "Good-by" and go.

非常無禮惡行儀: 招待一人時 忽略說話中另一人
It is very bad manners to invite one person to your house and leave out another with whom you are also talking. You should wait for an opportunity when the latter is not included in your conversation.

最失禮作法: 習慣上手觸 推進 押入他人 『手不干涉他人』==禮儀第一章
It is well to remember that nothing more blatantly stamps an ill-bred person than the habit of patting, nudging or taking hold of people. "Keep your hands to yourself!" might almost be put at the head of the first chapter of every book on etiquette.

謹慎不多話: 『停滯太長』 『為了急去 遺憾』 『多言失禮』等 ==自意識強 愚劣表現
Be very chary of making any such remarks as "I am afraid I have stayed too long," or "I must apologize for hurrying off," or "I am afraid I have bored you to death talking so much." All such expressions are self-conscious and stupid. If you really think you are staying too long or leaving too soon or talking too much─don't!

第XI章 招待狀 承認 遺憾
CHAPTER XI INVITATIONS, ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS

正式之招待
The Formal Invitation

正式招待狀: 由第三者名義寫
All formal invitations, whether they are to be engraved or to be written by hand (and their acceptances and regrets) are invariably in the third person, and good usage permits of no deviation from this form.

正式的承認或後悔
Formal Acceptance Or Regret

承認或遺憾必須手寫 印刷品==惡味表示頻繁答覆招待狀不可能
Acceptances or regrets are always written. An engraved form to be filled in is vulgar—nothing could be in worse taste than to flaunt your popularity by announcing that it is impossible to answer your numerous invitations without the time-saving device of a printed blank.

應招待之際 日時必須重複不誤 但辭退招待時 時間重複不必要
In accepting an invitation the day and hour must be repeated, so that in case of mistake it may be rectified and prevent one from arriving on a day when one is not expected. But in declining an invitation it is not necessary to repeat the hour.

第XII章: 設備整齊之家
CHAPTER XII THE WELL-APPOINTED HOUSE

家外觀 家內秩序: 不絕掃除內部 洗卓 清理衣服 戶口呼鈴
Every house has an outward appearance to be made as presentable as possible, an interior continually to be set in order, and incessantly to be cleaned. And for those that dwell within it there are meals to be prepared and served; linen to be laundered and mended; personal garments to be brushed and pressed; and perhaps children to be cared for. There is also a door-bell to be answered in which manners as well as appearance come into play.

事實之問題: 教養不足問題 明顯顯示在自己部屋
As a matter of fact, the knowledge of how to make a house distinguished both in appearance and in service, is a much higher test than presenting a distinguished appearance in oneself and acquiring presentable manners. There are any number of people who dress well, and in every way appear well, but a lack of breeding is apparent as soon as you go into their houses. Their servants have not good manners, they are not properly turned out, the service is not well done, and the decorations and furnishings show lack of taste and inviting arrangement.

決定何良何惡唯一方法: 書本
The only way to determine what is good and what is horrible is to study what is good in books, in museums, or in art classes in the universities, or even by studying the magazines devoted to decorative art.

決定物之價值
To Determine An Object's Worth
1) 有用? 2) 有美意識? 3) 完全適任位置? 4) 完全排除後 更優 更惡? 決定價值
First, is it useful? Anything that is really useful has a reason for existence. Second, has it really beauty of form and line and color? (Texture is not so important.) Or is it merely striking, or amusing? Third, is it entirely suitable for the position it occupies? Fourth, if it were eliminated would it be missed? Would something else look as well or better, in its place? Or would its place look as well empty? A truthful answer to these questions would at least help in determining its value, since an article that failed in any of them could not be "perfect."

人之家庭之禮儀
Courtesy To One's Household

莊嚴之家 佣人姓名不被暱稱
In a dignified house, a servant is never spoken to as Jim, Maisie, or Katie, but always as James or Margaret or Katherine, and a butler is called by his last name, nearly always.

海外 紳士淑女依賴人時 『請願』
Always abroad, and every really well-bred lady or gentleman here, says "please" in asking that something be brought her or him.

拒否皿時 『不謝』
In refusing a dish at the table, one must say "No, thank you," or "No, thanks," or else one shakes one's head.

教養者保持含蓄 粗野人無壁 幸運之女神置下輕視非高社會地位他人 顯示無禮
A rule can't be given because there isn't any. As said in another chapter, a well-bred person always lives within the walls of his personal reserve, a vulgarian has no walls─or at least none that do not collapse at the slightest touch. But those who think they appear superior by being rude to others whom fortune has placed below them, might as well, did they but know it, shout their own unexalted origin to the world at large, since by no other method could it be more widely published.

引起紛爭人
Those Who Have Persistent "Trouble"

要求完善服務時 但服務非自發性地 給予受雇用者良心的自重 考慮
The perfect mistress expects perfect service, but it never occurs to her that perfect service will not be voluntarily and gladly given. She, on her part, shows all of those in her employ the consideration and trust due them as honorable, self-respecting and conscientious human beings. If she has reason to think they are not all this, a lady does not keep them in her house.

服務之禮儀
Etiquette Of Service

被訓練一流使用人 外觀清潔 謹慎態度 低聲說話 迅速安靜步行 禮儀正 必叩門 入寢室時等待許可
The well-trained high-class servant is faultlessly neat in appearance, reticent in manner, speaks in a low voice, walks and moves quickly but silently, and is unfailingly courteous and respectful. She (or he) always knocks on a door, even of the library or sitting-room, but opens it without waiting to hear "Come in," as knocking on a downstairs door is merely politeness. At a bedroom door she would wait for permission to enter. In answering a bell, she asks "Did you ring, sir?" or if especially well-mannered she asks "Did Madam ring?"

第XIII章 紅茶 午後茶
CHAPTER XIII TEAS AND OTHER AFTERNOON PARTIES

紅茶
Teas

招待與紅茶差別: 王朝時代濃暗間 VS 輕魅惑
Yet the difference between a reception and a tea is one of atmosphere only, like the difference in furnishing twin houses. One is enveloped in the heavy gloom of the mid-Victorian period, the other is light and alluring in the fashion of to-day.

正式茶會 好意 非 『教會』衣服+儀式 每日精神非公式的見友人
A "tea," even though it be formal, is nevertheless friendly and inviting. One does not go in "church" clothes nor with ceremonious manner; but in an informal and every-day spirit, to see one's friends and be seen by them. The Menu Is Limited

茶會: 茶 薄湯 麵包 ?子 果汁
Only tea, bouillon, chocolate, bread and cakes are served. There can be all sorts of sandwiches, hot biscuits, crumpets, muffins, sliced cake and little cakes in every variety that a cook or caterer can devise—whatever can come under the head of "bread and cake" is admissible; but nothing else, or it becomes a "reception," and not a "tea." At the end of the table or on a separate table near by, there are bowls or pitchers of orangeade or lemonade or "punch" (meaning in these days something cold that has fruit juice in it) for the dancers, exactly as at a ball.

人客行往桌 自由取得麵包+?子
Guests go to the table and help themselves to their own selection of bread and cakes. The chocolate, already poured into cups and with whipped cream on top, is passed on a tray by a servant.

『一杯紅茶相續』上流社會最優形式招待 著名訪問者或音樂或主人見友人傾向時使用
"Do Come In For A Cup Of Tea." This is Best Society's favorite form of invitation. It is used on nearly every occasion whether there is to be music or a distinguished visitor, or whether a hostess has merely an inclination to see her friends.

主人開茶會時 彼女義務上選擇2人之友人 外觀裝飾的意見 皆優雅作法狀況
As soon as a hostess decides to give a tea, she selects two friends for this duty who are, in her opinion, decorative in appearance and also who (this is very important) can be counted on for gracious manners to everyone and under all circumstances.

說『一杯紅茶 Please』
It does not matter if a guest going into the dining-room for a cup of tea or chocolate does not know the deputy hostesses who are "pouring." It is perfectly correct for a stranger to say "May I have a cup of tea?"

『的確』回答
The one pouring should answer very, responsively, "Certainly! How do you like it? Strong or weak?"

每日午後茶
The Every-day Afternoon Tea Table

飲物適切空間必要 茶置於盆上
In proper serving, not only of tea but of cold drinks of all sorts, even where a quantity of bottles, pitchers and glasses need space, everything should be brought on a tray and not trundled in on a tea-wagon!

置盆在桌上前 最初布覆蓋於桌上
A cloth must always be first placed on the table, before putting down the tray. The tea cloth may be a yard, a yard and a half, or two yards square. It may barely cover the table, or it may hang half a yard over each edge.

人人飲紅茶時
Things People Eat At Tea

最重要料理必須有麵包 被覆蓋 追加熱食物時被覆蓋 但冷食物不用 次SANDWICH 次CAKE
The top dish on the "curate" should be a covered one, and holds hot bread of some sort; the two lower dishes may be covered or not, according to whether the additional food is hot or cold; the second dish usually holds sandwiches, and the third cake. Or perhaps all the dishes hold cake; little fancy cakes for instance, and pastries and slices of layer cakes.

給紅茶+飲酒禮儀
The Etiquette Of Tea Serving And Drinking

紅茶==打解私人會話
As tea is the one meal of intimate conversation, a servant never comes to the room at tea-time unless rung for, to bring fresh water or additional china or food, or to take away used dishes. When the tray and curate are brought in, individual tables, usually glass topped and very small and low, are put beside each of the guests, and the servant then withdraws.

歡待之氣分
The Atmosphere Of Hospitality

內省恐畏的人 決非優良首尾HOST
Introspective people who are fearful of others, fearful of themselves, are never successfully popular hosts or hostesses. If you for instance, are one of these, if you are really afraid of knowing some one who might some day prove unpleasant, if you are such a snob that you can't take people at their face value, then why make the effort to bother with people at all?

第XIV晚餐會
CHAPTER XIV FORMAL DINNERS

初心者不嘗試
Not For The Novice To Attempt

給予夕食 主人最高達成: 供給 服務 技能及個人之魅力之完全性
To give a perfect dinner of ceremony is the supreme accomplishment of a hostess! It means not alone perfection of furnishing, of service, of culinary skill, but also of personal charm, of tact.

夕食中考慮局面: 禮儀 供給 上階 服務
There are so many aspects to be considered in dinner giving that it is difficult to know whether to begin up-stairs or down, or with furnishing, or service, or people, or manners!

夕食詳細指示
Detailed Directions For Dinner Giving

夕食之必需品:
The requisites at every dinner, whether a great one of 200 covers, or a little one of six, are as follows:

人客: 互相同性質 最初重要
Guests. People who are congenial to one another. This is of first importance.

食物: 完全準備
Food. A suitable menu perfectly prepared and dished. (Hot food to be hot, and cold, cold.)

桌: 供給適環境洗濯 洗鍊銀器 付屬品
Table furnishing. Faultlessly laundered linen, brilliantly polished silver, and all other table accessories suitable to the occasion and surroundings.

服務: 專門人
Service. Expert dining-room servants and enough of them.

客間: 空間適切客數
Drawing-room. Adequate in size to number of guests and inviting in arrangement.

真心 親切 接待
A cordial and hospitable host.

魅力之接待者:　平衡氣分共感禮儀
A hostess of charm. Charm says everything—tact, sympathy, poise and perfect manners—always.

選擇人人品味
Taste In Selection Of People

通常不招待冗舌家　才氣男女希望聽眾非競爭對抗者　非常沉默者在能辯者中間　無品味者決不置於賢明者中間　愚者決不置於學術之人中間
It is usually a mistake to invite great talkers together. Brilliant men and women who love to talk want hearers, not rivals. Very silent people should be sandwiched between good talkers, or at least voluble talkers. Silly people should never be put anywhere near learned ones, nor the dull near the clever, unless the dull one is a young and pretty woman with a talent for listening, and the clever, a man with an admiration for beauty, and a love for talking.

接待者努力　置互相同性質傾向鄰人一起
The endeavor of a hostess, when seating her table, is to put those together who are likely to be interesting to each other. Those who are placed between congenial neighbors remember your dinner as delightful─even though both food and service were mediocre; but ask people out of their own groups and seat them next to their pet aversions, and wild horses could not drag them to your house again!

夕食約束之重要性
Importance Of Dinner Engagements

快速回答(電話 郵便)夕食招待要求 除非重病 事故
Dinner invitations must be answered immediately; engraved or written ones by return post, or those which were telephoned, by telephone and at once! Also, nothing but serious illness or death or an utterly unavoidable accident can excuse the breaking of a dinner engagement.

規則: 不接應不用心招待
The rule is: "Don't accept an invitation if you don't care about it." Having declined the Nobody invitation in the first place, you are then free to accept Mrs. Worldly's, or to stay at home.

食桌用意
Setting The Table

食桌幾何學上區切 實際中央 最大物 平等距離 道具平衡
Everything on the table must be geometrically spaced; the centerpiece in the actual center, the "places" at equal distances, and all utensils balanced; beyond this one rule you may set your table as you choose.

使用布時 決對不動搖 味+巧工夫 刺繡 花瓶花之配置 銀中飾覆
But whatever type of cloth is used, the middle crease must be put on so that it is an absolutely straight and unwavering line down the exact center from head to foot. If it is an embroidered one, be sure the embroidery is "right side out." Next goes the centerpiece which is always the chief ornament. Usually this is an arrangement of flowers in either a bowl or a vase, but it can be any one of an almost unlimited variety of things; flowers or fruit in any arrangement that taste and ingenuity can devise; or an ornament in silver that needs no flowers, such as a covered cup;

次 設定場所 食桌場所之間距離不非常短 人客余裕空間 他方 不置人於他人必叫聲之遠距離
Next comes the setting of the places. (If it is an extension table, leaves have, of course, been put in; or if it is stationary, guests have been invited according to its size.) The distance between places at the table must never be so short that guests have no elbow room, and that the servants can not pass the dishes properly; when the dining-room chairs are very high backed and are placed so close as to be almost touching, it is impossible for them not to risk spilling something over some one. On the other hand, to place people a yard or more apart so that conversation has to be shouted into the din made by everyone else's shouting, is equally trying.

設定場所
Setting The Places

食桌平皿左側: 從外側 魚刀叉>肉刀叉>SALAD刀叉
The necessary number of plates, with the pattern or initials right side up, are first put around the table at equal distances (spaced with a tape measure if the butler or waitress has not an accurate eye). Then on the left of each plate, handle towards the edge of the table, and prongs up, is put the salad fork, the meat fork is put next, and then the fish fork. The salad fork, which will usually be the third used, is thus laid nearest to the plate. If there is an entree, the fork for this course is placed between the fish fork and that for the roast and the salad fork is left to be brought in later.

食桌平皿右側: 酒杯 吸水紙
In putting on the glasses, the water goblet is at the top and to the right of the knives, and the wine glasses are either grouped to the right of the goblet, or in a straight line slanting down from the goblet obliquely towards the right. (Butter plates are never put on a dinner table.) A dinner napkin folded square and flat is laid on each "place" plate; very fancy foldings are not in good taste, but if the napkin is very large, the sides are folded in so as to make a flattened roll a third the width of its height.

設定場所: 銀皿 燭台 四角落 置於全領域
When the places have been set, four silver dishes (or more on a very big table), either bowl or basket or paten shaped, are put at the four corners, between the candlesticks (or candelabra) and the centerpiece;

光輝銀器
Have Silver That Shines Or None

不置未清潔銀器 陶磁器無限地裝飾
Don't put any silver on your table if you can't have it cleaned. Infinitely rather have every ornament of glass or china─and if knives and forks have crevices in the design of their handles that are hard to clean, buy plain plated ones, or use tin!

食桌設定避免
Don'ts In Table Setting!

香辛料局決不置於容器內 置於茶匙上
At all events, pickles and tomato sauces and other cold meat condiments are never presented at table in a bottle, but are put in glass dishes with small serving spoons. Nothing is ever served from the jar or bottle it comes in except certain kinds of cheese, Bar-le-Duc preserves (only sometimes) and wines. Pickles, jellies, jams, olives, are all put into small glass dishes.

遍在平皿
The Ever-present Plate

從設定食桌至果物 皿必需在食桌上 前菜出來 取出後 交換後菜皿
From the setting of the table until it is cleared for dessert, a plate must remain at every cover. Under the first two courses there are always two plates. The plate on which oysters or hors d'oeuvres are served is put on top of the place plate. At the end of the course the used plate is removed, leaving the place plate. The soup plate is also put on top of this same plate. But when the soup plate is removed, the underneath plate is removed with it, and a hot plate immediately exchanged for the two taken away.

交換平皿
The Exchange Plate

平皿從左側來右側取替 硝子 刀叉左側取替 肉叉 右側取替
Although dishes are always presented at the left of the person served, plates are removed and replaced at the right. Glasses are poured and additional knives placed at the right, but forks are put on as needed from the left.

2人平皿不一起持入
May the Plates for Two Persons Be Brought in Together?

兩手持唯一平皿: 前菜 其他平皿必需個個交換
The only plates that can possibly be brought into the dining-room one in each hand are for the hors d'oeuvres, soup and dessert. The first two plates are placed on others which have not been removed, and the dessert plates need merely be put down on the tablecloth. But the plates of every other course have to be exchanged and therefore each individual service requires two hands.

食桌順序
Double Service And The Order Of Table Precedence

二重服務 10或12人夕食 回避一熱料理給6人以上 或9人以上
At every well-ordered dinner, there should be a double service for ten or twelve persons; that is, no hot dish should, if avoidable, be presented to more than six, or nine at the outside.

料理贈呈
Presenting Dishes

料理贈呈右手掌上保持 熱料理置於紙上 特別重大皿 必要時左手共保持
Dishes are presented held flat on the palm of the servant's right hand; every hot one must have a napkin placed as a pad under it. An especially heavy meat platter can be steadied if necessary by holding the edge of the platter with the left hand, the fingers protected from being burned by a second folded napkin.

各皿共供給必要道具 給仕用匙 魚肉野菜加入刀叉
Each dish is supplied with whatever implements are needed for helping it; a serving spoon (somewhat larger than an ordinary tablespoon) is put on all dishes and a fork of large size is added for fish, meat, salad and any vegetables or other dishes that are hard to help.

DESSERT 清理食桌
Clearing Table For Dessert

夕食 清理SALAD 鹽 糖 後 DESSERT呈出以前 淨空食桌
At dinner always, whether at a formal one, or whether a member of the family is alone, the salad plates, or the plates of whatever course precedes dessert, are removed, leaving the table plateless. The salt cellars and pepper pots are taken off on the serving tray (without being put on any napkin or doily, as used to be the custom), and the crumbs are brushed off each place at table with a folded napkin onto a tray held under the table edge.

DESSERT: ICE CREAM PIE
But chefs and cook-books notwithstanding, dessert means everything sweet that comes at the end of a meal. And the great American dessert is ice cream—or pie. Pie, however, is not a "company" dessert. Ice cream on the other hand is the inevitable conclusion of a formal dinner. The fact that the spoon which is double the size of a teaspoon is known as nothing but a dessert spoon, is offered in further proof that "dessert" is "spoon" and not "finger" food!

主賓?
Who Is The Guest Of Honor?

主賓: 出席最年長女性 或何種理由被尊敬者 或最初餐之新婚者 主賓由主人引導置於主人右座 重要性第2左座 主人最終進入晚餐會
The guest of honor is the oldest lady present, or a stranger whom you wish for some reason to honor. A bride at her first dinner in your house, after her return from her honeymoon, takes, if you choose to have her, precedence over older people. Or if a younger woman has been long away she, in this instance of welcoming her home, takes precedence over her elders. The guest of honor is always led in to dinner by the host and placed on his right, the second in importance sits on his left and is taken in to dinner by the gentleman on whose right she sits. The hostess is always the last to go into the dining-room at a formal dinner.

主人座側
When The Hostess Sits At The Side

客數4倍數時 主人與女主人決不互相對座 女主人置紳士上座後 自身適切座於左右側: 紳士與紳士對座 淑女與淑女對座
When the number of guests is a multiple of four, the host and hostess never sit opposite each other. It would bring two ladies and two gentlemen together if they did. At a table which seats two together at each end, the fact that the host is opposite a gentleman and the hostess opposite a lady is not noticeable; nor is it ever noticeable at a round table. But at a narrow table which has room for only one at the end, the hostess invariably sits in the seat next to that which is properly her own, putting in her place a gentleman at the end. The host usually keeps his seat rather than the hostess because the seat of honor is on his right; and in the etiquette governing dinners, the host and not the hostess is the more important personage!

4人時 主人與女主人互鄰座 8、12、16、20人時 女主人保持座位 主人左右場所移動
When there are only four, they keep their own places, otherwise the host and hostess would sit next to each other. At a dinner of eight, twelve, sixteen, twenty, etc., the host keeps his place, but at supper for eight or twelve, the hostess keeps her place and the host moves a place to the right or left because the hostess at supper pours coffee or chocolate.

女主人如何招待晚餐會
How A Hostess Receives At A Formal Dinner

夕食或舞踏會 女主人微笑近入口門立著與人客握手 無言非常重要 寡默表現及方法魅力比最入念句更受歡迎
On all occasions of formality, at a dinner as well as at a ball, the hostess stands near the door of her drawing-room, and as guests are announced, she greets them with a smile and a handshake and says something pleasant to each. What she says is nothing very important, charm of expression and of manner can often wordlessly express a far more gracious welcome than the most elaborate phrases (which as a matter of fact should be studiously avoided).

通常 例 『非常高興見你』
Mrs. Oldname, for instance, usually welcomes you with some such sentences as, "I am very glad to see you" or "I am so glad you could come!"

有教養的人 決不過剩開發 無恥 誇張 或敘述個人見解給貴賓
But people of good breeding do not over-exploit their distinguished guests with embarrassing hyperbole, or make personal remarks. Both are in worst possible taste.

主人義務
The Duty Of The Host

主人接近彼妻 晚餐會人客互相紹介 原則上正式晚餐會 除了鄰人以外 人不與他人談話 主人必需提出紹介
The host stands fairly near his wife so that if any guest seems to be unknown to all of the others, he can present him to some one. At formal dinners introductions are never general and people do not as a rule speak to strangers, except those next to them at table or in the drawing-room after dinner. The host therefore makes a few introductions if necessary.

女主人禮儀
The Manners Of A Hostess

給每一人客同等公平對應
First of all, a hostess must show each of her guests equal and impartial attention. Also, although engrossed in the person she is talking to, she must be able to notice anything amiss that may occur.

彼女各人客在舞台出現 簡潔地說 『J 你對我說何事?』 後突然返回J特別發揮話題
She brings each guest forward in turn to the center of the stage. In a lull in the conversation she says beguilingly to a clever but shy man, "John, what was that story you told me──" and then she repeats briefly an introduction to a topic in which "John" particularly shines. Or later on, she begins a narrative and breaks off suddenly, turning to some one else, "You tell them!"

遲著人客
The Late Guest

禮儀上 女主人等待約夕食時間之20分 20分後繼續等待顯示考慮不足 遲著人客到著時 女主人起立 握手 但不脫席 遲著人客表示謝罪 女主人懷柔禮儀對應 『確信你不欲我等待!』
A polite hostess waits twenty minutes after the dinner hour, and then orders dinner served. To wait more than twenty minutes, or actually fifteen after those who took the allowable five minutes grace, would be showing lack of consideration to many for the sake of one. When the late guest finally enters the dining-room, the hostess rises, shakes hands with her, but does not leave her place at table. She doesn't rise for a gentleman. It is the guest who must go up to the hostess and apologize for being late. The hostess must never take the guest to task, but should say something polite and conciliatory such as, "I was sure you would not want us to wait dinner!"

紙+手袋禮儀
Etiquette Of Gloves And Napkin

夫人晚餐會必帶手袋 取去後 置於膝上
Ladies always wear gloves to formal dinners and take them off at table. Entirely off. It is hideous to leave them on the arm, merely turning back the hands. Both gloves and fan are supposed to be laid across the lap, and one is supposed to lay the napkin folded once in half across the lap too, on top of the gloves and fan, and all three are supposed to stay in place on a slippery satin skirt on a little lap, that more often than not slants downward.

敵埋手釜
Enemies Must Bury Hatchets

食桌禮儀規則: 必需與鄰人談話
One inexorable rule of etiquette Is that you must talk to your next door neighbor at a dinner table. You must, that is all there is about it!

離去食桌後
Leaving The Table

最後CAKE後 女主人向食桌側見 起立後 其他人起立 紳士伸手淑女導入客間
At the end of dinner, when the last dish of chocolates has been passed and the hostess sees that no one is any longer eating, she looks across the table, and catching the eye of one of the ladies, slowly stands up. The one who happens to be observing also stands up, and in a moment everyone is standing. The gentlemen offer their arms to their partners and conduct them back to the drawing-room or the library or wherever they are to sit during the rest of the evening.

夕食後 各紳士辭儀後 他紳士共在室內休會 COFFEE, 座後 飲酒 取葉卷 談話
Each gentleman then slightly bows, takes leave of his partner, and adjourns with the other gentlemen to the smoking-room, where after-dinner coffee, liqueurs, cigars and cigarettes are passed, and they all sit where they like and with whom they like, and talk.

離開
Taking leave

通常人客:『晚安 感謝!』 女主人: 『感謝到來!』 1人客離開時 他人同時離開 互相握手後 向女主人握手 『感謝! 』
Usually, however, each one merely says, "Good night, thank you so much." The hostess answers, "I am so glad you could come!" and she then presses a bell (not one that any guest can hear!) for the servants to be in the dressing-rooms and hall. When one guest leaves, they all leave─except those at the bridge tables. They all say, "Good night" to whomever they were talking with and shake hands, and then going up to their hostess, they shake hands and say, "Thank you for asking us," or "Thank you so much."

第XV章: 適切盛?
CHAPTER XV Proper Dishing

水絕不集於皿下部 (例 煮魚下置紙) 料理不熱過 肉汁不凝凍 熱食物>>冷食物
Water must not be allowed to collect at the bottom of a dish (that is why a folded napkin is always put under boiled fish and sometimes under asparagus). And dishes must be hot; they cannot be too hot! Meat juice that has started to crust is nauseating. Far better have food too hot to eat and let people take their time eating it than that others should suffer the disgust of cold victuals! Sending in cold food is one of the worst faults (next to not knowing how to cook) that a cook can have.

第XVI 章 食禮儀
CHAPTER XVI LUNCHEONS, BREAKFASTS AND SUPPERS

食禮儀詳細
Details Of Etiquette At Luncheons

紳士置外套帽子 淑女置外套於大廣間 女主人絕不著手袋
Gentlemen leave their coats, hats, sticks, in the hall; ladies leave heavy outer wraps in the hall, or dressing-room, but always go into the drawing-room with their hats and gloves on. They wear their fur neck pieces and carry their muffs in their hands, if they choose, or they leave them in the hall or dressing-room. But fashionable ladies never take off their hats. Even the hostess herself almost invariably wears a hat at a formal luncheon in her own house, though there is no reason why she should not be hatless if she prefers, or if she thinks she is prettier without! Guests, however, do not take off their hats at a lunch party even in the country. They take off their gloves at the table, or sooner if they choose, and either remove or turn up, their veils. The hostess does not wear gloves, ever. It is also very unsuitable for a hostess to wear a face veil in her own house, unless there is something the matter with her face, that must not be subjected to view! A hostess in a veil does not give her guests the impression of "veiled beauty," but the contrary. Guests, on the other hand, may with perfect fitness keep their veils on throughout the meal, merely fastening the lower edge up over their noses. They must not allow a veil to hang loose, and carry food under and behind it, nor must they eat with gloves on. A veil kept persistently over the face, and gloves kept persistently over the hands, means one thing: Ugliness behind. So unless you have to—don't!

第XVII 章 舞踏會
CHAPTER XVII BALLS AND DANCES

招待
Invitations

正式舞踏會VS舞踏會基本差別: 一回年齡VS各年齡
The fundamental difference between a ball and a dance is that people of all ages are asked to a ball, while only those of approximately one age are asked to a dance.

正式舞踏會期待社會中顯著人物集會
Snobbish as it sounds and is, a brilliant ball is necessarily a collection of brilliantly fashionable people, and the hostess who gathers in all the oddly assorted frumps on the outskirts of society cannot expect to achieve a very distinguished result.

關於部外者受招待之質問: 對局內者適當飾否?
The question as to whether an outsider may be invited is not a matter of a hostess' own inclination so much as a question whether the "outsider" would be agreeable to all the "insiders" who are coming. If the co-worker is in everything a lady and a fitting ornament to society, the hostess might very possibly ask her.

正式舞踏會之招待狀
Asking for an Invitation to a Ball

招待狀絕不給女主人已知友人 又意圖省略時 不必要言語
Invitations are never asked for persons whom the hostess already knows, since if she had cared to invite them she would have done so. It is, however, not at all out of the way for an intimate friend to remind her of some one who in receiving no invitation has more than likely been overlooked. If the omission was intentional, nothing need be said; if it was an oversight, the hostess is very glad to repair her forgetfulness.

舞踏會場之禮儀
Etiquette In The Ballroom

女主人絕不離任座席 女主人在舞踏會場階段玄關上或在場外歡迎人客
The hostess never leaves her post, wherever it is she is standing, until she goes to supper. If, as at the Ritz in New York, the ballroom opens on a foyer at the head of a stairway, the hostess always receives at this place. In a private house where guests go up in an elevator to the dressing rooms, and then walk down to the ballroom floor, the hostess receives either at the foot of the stairway, or just outside the ballroom.

舞踏會之女主人
The Hostess At A Ball

人客到著與女主供握手後 既時離開 女主人義務 正確場所立著
Guests arriving are announced, as at a dinner or afternoon tea, and after shaking hands with the hostess, they must pass on into the ballroom. It is not etiquette to linger beside the hostess for more than a moment, especially if later arrivals are being announced. A stranger ought never go to a ball alone, as the hostess is powerless to "look after" any especial guests; her duty being to stand in one precise place and receive. A stranger who is a particular friend of the hostess would be looked after by the host; but a stranger who is invited through another guest should be looked after by that other.

夕食後 女主人自由實際與友人談話
After supper, when she is no longer receiving, the hostess is free to talk with her friends and give her attention to the roomful of young people who are actually in her charge.

人客離開時 女主人握手再 『晚安』 禮儀上 人客在引起最少注意時離開 但必向女主人說 『感謝』
When her guests leave she does not go back to where she received, but stands wherever she happens to be, shakes hands and says "Good night." There is one occasion when it is better not to bid one's hostess good night, and that is, if one finds her party dull and leaves again immediately; in this one case it is more polite to slip away so as to attract the least attention possible, but late in the evening it is inexcusably ill mannered not to find her and say "Good night" and "Thank you."

假面舞踏會
Masquerade Vouchers

假面舞踏會入場卷與招待狀同封 郵送入場卷時 女主人在小個室要求在彼女前單獨暴露身份必要
Vouchers or tickets of admission like those sent with invitations to assembly or public balls should be enclosed in invitations to a masquerade; it would be too easy otherwise for dishonest or other undesirable persons to gain admittance. If vouchers are not sent with the invitations, or better yet, mailed afterwards to all those who have accepted, it is necessary that the hostess receive her guests singly in a small private room and request each to unmask before her.

舞踏會場步行方法
How To Walk Across A Ballroom

身体完全平衡 直線 採中長度步 從腰部移動 決不振動兩腕 手不觸腰部 步行時不興奮地招手
How does Mrs. Oldname walk? One might answer by describing how Pavlowa dances. Her body is perfectly balanced, she holds herself straight, and yet in nothing suggests a ramrod. She takes steps of medium length, and, like all people who move and dance well, walks from the hip, not the knee. On no account does she swing her arms, nor does she rest a hand on her hip! Nor when walking, does she wave her hands about in gesticulation.

第XVIII章 少女
CHAPTER XVIII THE DEBUTANTE

少女初出社交界
How A Young Girl Is Presented To Society

兩親紹介少女給社會最優方法: 1) 正式舞踏會 2)茶會 3)非正式舞踏會
Any one of various entertainments may be given to present a young girl to society. The favorite and most elaborate of these, but possible only to parents of considerable wealth and wide social acquaintance, is a ball. Much less elaborate, but equal in size, and second in favor to-day, is an afternoon tea with dancing. Third, and gaining in popularity, is a small dance, which presents the debutante to the younger set and a few of her mother's intimate friends. Fourth, is a small tea without music. Fifth, the mere sending out of the mother's visiting card with the daughter's name engraved below her own, announces to the world that the daughter is eligible for invitations.

少女禁止
A Few Don'ts For Debutantes

私語==失禮 忍笑=禮儀之不足
Whispering is always rude. Whispering and giggling at the same time have no place in good society. Everything that shows lack of courtesy toward others is rude.

氣品之人: 決不突然 輕拍 手弄他人 不公然親密接觸男性
If you would be thought a person of refinement, don't nudge or pat or finger people. Don't hold hands or walk arm-about-waist in public. Never put your hand on a man, except in dancing and in taking his arm if he is usher at a wedding or your partner for dinner or supper. Don't allow anyone to paw you. Don't hang on anyone for support, and don't stand or walk with your chest held in, and your hips forward, in imitation of a reversed letter S.

不振動兩腕 不大笑引起他人注意 幸福快感 微笑自然發生 機械的模仿練齒磨少魅力
Don't walk across a ballroom floor swinging your arms. Don't talk or laugh loud enough to attract attention, and on no account force yourself to laugh. Nothing is flatter than laughter that is lacking in mirth. If you only laugh because something is irresistibly funny, the chances are your laugh will be irresistible too. In the same way a smile should be spontaneous, because you feel happy and pleasant; nothing has less allure than a mechanical grimace, as though you were trying to imitate a tooth-paste advertisement.

第XIX章 看婦人
CHAPTER XIX THE CHAPERON AND OTHER CONVENTIONS

最良看婦人
The Best Chaperon Herself

倫理==最良看婦人 少女自己感覺威嚴+自尊心 但非常幼少女要求保護
Ethically the only chaperon is the young girl's own sense of dignity and pride; she who has the right attributes of character needs no chaperon—ever. If she is wanting in decency and proper pride, not even Argus could watch over her! But apart from ethics, there are the conventions to think of, and the conventions of propriety demand that very young woman must be protected by a chaperon, because otherwise she will be misjudged.

第XX章 約束
CHAPTER XX ENGAGEMENTS

求愛
Courtship

結婚前 男女互相理解個性
So long as Romance exists and Lochinvar remains young manhood's ideal, love at first sight and marriage in a week is within the boundaries of possibility. But usually (and certainly more wisely) a young man is for some time attentive to a young woman before dreaming of marriage. Thus not only have her parents plenty of time to find out what manner of man he is, and either accept or take means to prevent a serious situation; but the modern young woman herself is not likely to be "carried away" by the personality of anyone whose character and temperament she does not pretty thoroughly understand and weigh.

追求者義務
First Duty Of The Accepted Suitor

女性之保護者父親拒否結婚時 婚約不存在 青年必需通過事業+安定性使父親贊成 最不名譽: 同意婚約後拒否
If a young man and his parents are very close friends it is more than likely he will already have told them of the seriousness of his intentions. Very possibly he has asked his father's financial assistance, or at least discussed ways and means, but as soon as he and she have definitely made up their minds that they want to marry each other, it is the immediate duty of the man to go to the girl's father or her guardian, and ask his consent. If her father refuses, the engagement cannot exist. The man must then try, through work or other proof of stability and seriousness, to win the father's approval. Failing in that, the young woman is faced with dismissing him or marrying in opposition to her parents. There are, of course, unreasonable and obdurate parents, but it is needless to point out that a young woman assumes a very great risk who takes her future into her own hands and elopes. But even so, there is no excuse for the most unfilial act of all—deception. The honorable young woman who has made up her mindto marry in spite of her parents' disapproval, announces to them, if she can, that on such and such a day her wedding will take place. If this is impossible, she at least refuses to give her word that she will not marry. The height of dishonor is to "give her word" and then break it.

承認約束
The Approved Engagement

經濟不十分安定時 父親可要求延期結婚
Usually, however, when the young man enters the study or office of her father, the latter has a perfectly good idea of what he has come to say and, having allowed his attentions, is probably willing to accept his daughter's choice; and the former after announcing that the daughter has accepted him, goes into details as to his financial standing and prospects. If the finances are not sufficiently stable, the father may tell him to wait for a certain length of time before considering himself engaged, or if they are satisfactory to him, he makes no objection to an immediate announcement. In either case, the man probably hurries to tell the young woman what her father has said, and if he has been very frequently at the house, very likely they both tell her mother and her immediate family, or, more likely still, she has told her mother first of all.

兩親訪問新婦
His Parents Call On Hers

少女父親接受婚約後 青年兩親必需訪問少女兩親
As soon as the young woman's father accepts the engagement, etiquette demands that the parents of the bridegroom-elect call at once (within twenty-four hours) upon the parents of the bride-to-be. If illness or absence prevents one of them, the other must go alone. If the young man is an orphan, his uncle, aunt or other nearest relative should go in the parents' place. Not even deep mourning can excuse the failure to observe this formality.

發表前
Before Announcement

通常正式發表婚約數日前 兩方少男女向親戚及友人約束不暴露結婚期日
Usually a few days before the formal announcement─and still earlier for letters written abroad or to distant States─both young people write to their aunts, uncles, and cousins, and to their most intimate friends, of their engagement, asking them not to tell anyone until the determined date.

不變的兩親發表婚約 正式發表前 青年家族決不暴露結婚期日
The announcement is invariably made by the parents of the bride-elect. It is a breach of etiquette for a member of the young man's family to tell of the engagement until the formal announcement has been arranged for.

公眾婚約中男女
Engaged Couple In Public

『下品之人』 顯著特徵: 無制限表示非制御感情 公眾中決不公然露出過多感情 (例 責斥親人 KISS 等私人場面)
The hall-mark of so-called "vulgar people" is unrestricted display of uncontrolled emotions. No one should ever be made to feel like withdrawing in embarrassment from the over-exposed privacy of others. The shrew who publicly berates her husband is no worse than the engaged pair who snuggle in public. Every one supposes that lovers kiss each other, but people of good taste wince at being forced to play audience at love scenes which should be private. Furthermore, such cuddling gives little evidence of the deeper caring─no matter how ardent the demonstration may be.

親族會議
Meeting Of Kinsmen

結婚式前 2家族互相會面 通例 兩親在家招待晚餐
At some time before the wedding, it is customary for the two families to meet each other. That is, the parents of the groom dine or lunch at the house of the parents of the bride to meet the aunts, uncles and cousins. And then the parents of the bride are asked with the same purpose to the house of the groom-elect.

親密不必要持續 互相機會認識
It is not necessary that any intimacy ensue, but it is considered fitting and proper that all the members of the families which are to be allied should be given an opportunity to know one another—at least by sight.

第XXI 章 最初結婚式前準備
CHAPTER XXI FIRST PREPARATIONS BEFORE A WEDDING

結婚旅行費用
Expense Of The Wedding Trip

新婦旅行費用 女婿全部責任
Just as it is contrary to all laws of etiquette for the bride to accept any part of her trousseau or wedding reception from the groom, so it is unthinkable for the bride to defray the least fraction of the cost of the wedding journey, no matter though she have millions in her own right, and he be earning ten dollars a week. He must save up his ten dollars as long as necessary, and the trip can be as short as they like, but convention has no rule more rigid than that the wedding trip shall be a responsibility of the groom.

女婿義務
Further Obligations Of The Groom

女婿提供贈物給牧師等結婚證人 式典後在祭服室封筒同封
Gifts must be provided for his best man and ushers, as well as their ties, gloves and boutonnieres, a bouquet for his bride, and the fee for the clergyman, which may be a ten dollar gold piece or one or two new one hundred dollar bills, according to his wealth and the importance of the wedding. Whatever the amount, it is enclosed in an envelope and taken in charge by the best man who hands it to the clergyman in his vestry-room immediately after the ceremony.

第XXII 章 結婚式之日
CHAPTER XXII THE DAY OF THE WEDDING

輕率VS光輝
Flippancy Vs. Radiance

最美結婚式: 聖禮典中假定 『威嚴』 不輕率 不振手腕 對壁貧弱直立 不傾斜彼夫 不大聲叫
The most beautiful wedding ever imagined could be turned from sacrament to circus by the indecorous behavior of the groom and the flippancy of the bride. She, above all, must not reach up and wig-wag signals while she is receiving, any more than she must wave to people as she goes up and down the aisle of the church. She must not cling to her husband, stand pigeon-toed, or lean against him or the wall, or any person, or thing. She must not run her arm through his and let her hand flop on the other side; she must not swing her arms as though they were dangling rope; she must not switch herself this way and that, nor must she "hello" or shout. No matter how young or "natural" and thoughtless she may be, she must, during the ceremony and the short time that she stands beside her husband at the reception, assume that she has dignity.

第XXVII章 信件
CHAPTER XXVII NOTES AND SHORTER LETTERS

署名
The Signature

海外 地位越高 署名越短
Abroad, the higher the rank, the shorter the name. A duke, for instance, signs himself "Marlborough," nothing else, and a queen her first name "Victoria." The social world in Europe, therefore, laughs at us for using our whole names, or worse yet, inserting meaningless initials in our signatures. Etiquette in accord with Europe also objects strenuously to initials and demands that names be always engraved, and, if possible, written in full, but only very correct people strictly observe this rule.

大歡迎之信件
The Letter Everyone Loves To Receive

含作家個性(類似本人橫座直接談話)之信件 最受歡迎
The letter we all love to receive is one that carries so much of the writer's personality that she seems to be sitting beside us, looking at us directly and talking just as she really would, could she have come on a magic carpet, instead of sending her proxy in ink-made characters on mere paper.

容易流順單語自然泡立之信: 表示共感之非常記憶 彼女不在之喪失感
Let us suppose we have received one of those perfect letters from Mary, one of those letters that seem almost to have written themselves, so easily do the words flow, so bubbling and effortless is their spontaneity. There is a great deal in the letter about Mary, not only about what she has been doing, but what she has been thinking, or perhaps, feeling. And there is a lot about us in the letter—nice things, that make us feel rather pleased about something that we have done, or are likely to do, or that some one has said about us. We know that all things of concern to us are of equal concern to Mary, and though there will be nothing of it in actual words, we are made to feel that we are just as secure in our corner of Mary's heart as ever we were. And we finish the letter with a very vivid remembrance of Mary's sympathy, and a sense of loss in her absence, and a longing for the time when Mary herself may again be sitting on the sofa beside us and telling us all the details her letter can not but leave out.

第XXIX章 優良品行
CHAPTER XXIX THE FUNDAMENTALS OF GOOD BEHAVIOR

正確禮儀
Decencies Of Behavior

想定外之狀況以外 紳士不借金 負債==借信用 過逝親戚( 兄弟 姐妹等)負債==名譽之負債
A gentleman does not, and a man who aspires to be one must not, ever borrow money from a woman, nor should he, except in unexpected circumstances, borrow money from a man. Money borrowed without security is a debt of honor which must be paid without fail and promptly as possible. The debts incurred by a deceased parent, brother, sister, or grown child, are assumed by honorable men and women, as debts of honor.

紳士決不傷害女性 貧乏人
A gentleman never takes advantage of a woman in a business dealing, nor of the poor or the helpless.

紳士決不 『寄食』 以自身能力支付
One who is not well off does not "sponge," but pays his own way to the utmost of his ability.

只有卑俗之人露呈費用代價
One who is rich does not make a display of his money or his possessions. Only a vulgarian talks ceaselessly about how much this or that cost him.

有教養男性決不在商業外之場合言及金錢
A very well-bred man intensely dislikes the mention of money, and never speaks of it (out of business hours) if he can avoid it.

紳士決不公然議論彼家庭私人事 不批評妻子
A gentleman never discusses his family affairs either in public or with acquaintances, nor does he speak more than casually about his wife. A man is a cad who tells anyone, no matter who, what his wife told him in confidence, or describes what she looks like in her bedroom. To impart details of her beauty is scarcely better than to publish her blemishes; to do either is unspeakable.

紳士決不批評妻子 決不在他人面前輕蔑彼女
Nor does a gentleman ever criticise the behavior of a wife whose conduct is scandalous. What he says to her in the privacy of their own apartments is no one's affair but his own, but he must never treat her with disrespect before their children, or a servant, or any one.

紳士決不失去冷靜 事實上 困難危險事情中冷靜==彼面對衝動的感情之他人主要優勢 公然表明怒氣(恐怖 憎恨 困惑 情熱)==下級作法 非常親密友人外 紳士決不暴露她她人信書
A gentleman does not lose control of his temper. In fact, in his own self-control under difficult or dangerous circumstances, lies his chief ascendancy over others who impulsively betray every emotion which animates them. Exhibitions of anger, fear, hatred, embarrassment, ardor or hilarity, are all bad form in public. And bad form is merely an action which "jars" the sensibilities of others. A gentleman does not show a letter written by a lady, unless perhaps to a very intimate friend if the letter is entirely impersonal and written by some one who is equally the friend of the one to whom it is shown. But the occasions when the letter of a woman may be shown properly by a man are so few that it is safest to make it a rule never to mention a woman's letter.

紳士避言及他人姓名
The born gentleman avoids the mention of names exactly as he avoids the mention of what things cost; both are an abomination to his soul.

有教養男性決不叩他人後部 會話決不討論下著 化粧品
A man of breeding does not slap strangers on the back nor so much as lay his finger-tips on a lady. Nor does he punctuate his conversation by pushing or nudging or patting people, nor take his conversation out of the drawing-room! Notwithstanding the advertisements in the most dignified magazines, a discussion of underwear and toilet articles and their merit or their use, is unpleasant in polite conversation.

有教養人與他人共感同情 紳士決不蔑視社會階層下人物
All thoroughbred people are considerate of the feelings of others no matter what the station of the others may be. Thackeray's climber who "licks the boots of those above him and kicks the faces of those below him on the social ladder," is a, very good illustration of what a gentleman is not.

紳士決不利用他人無知或無力
A gentleman never takes advantage of another's helplessness or ignorance, and assumes that no gentleman will take advantage of him.

有教養人決不蔑視不幸之人 有教養淑女與單富女性區分==對下人說話語調
All thoroughbred women, and men, are considerate of others less fortunately placed, especially of those in their employ. One of the tests by which to distinguish between the woman of breeding and the woman merely of wealth, is to notice the way she speaks to dependents.

第XXX章 俱樂部禮儀
CHAPTER XXX CLUBS AND CLUB ETIQUETTE

俱樂部之禮儀
Good Manners In Clubs

2人座談話時 不熟友人決不加入
When two people are sitting by themselves and talking, another should on no account join them unless he is an intimate friend of both. To be a mere acquaintance, or, still less, to have been introduced to one of them, gives no privilege whatever.

習慣的向新訪問者祝意
It is courteous of a governor or habitual member, on noticing a new member or a visitor, especially one who seems to be rather at a loss─to go up and speak to him, but the latter must on no account be the one to speak first.

俱樂部之基本原理==類同 民家之客間 (書本不誤用 清潔) 運動證據限定在法庭外
The fundamental rule for behavior in a club is the same as in the drawing-room of a private house. In other words, heels have no place on furniture, ashes belong in ash-receivers, books should not be abused, and all evidence of exercising should be confined to the courts or courses and the locker room.

社交界之會員
The Perfect Clubman

紳士決不顯露怒氣 興奮 綿密的守規則 恐畏寄食本能 給他人同一考慮
The perfect clubman is another word for the perfect gentleman. He never allows himself to show irritability to any one, he makes it a point to be courteous to a new member or an old member's guest. He scrupulously observes the rules of the club, he discharges his card debts at the table, he pays his share always, with an instinctive horror of sponging, and lastly, he treats everyone with the same consideration which he expects─and demands─from them.

第XXXI 章 游戲及運動
CHAPTER XXXI GAMES AND SPORTS

敗者
The Good Loser

負者決不無視規則 有責任負者受歡迎
The good loser makes it an invariable rule never to play for stakes that it will be inconvenient to lose. The neglect of this rule has been responsible for more "bad losers" than anything else, and needless to say a bad loser is about as welcome at a card table as rain at a picnic.

第XXXII 章 商業上 政治上禮儀
CHAPTER XXXII ETIQUETTE IN BUSINESS AND POLITICS

洗練禮儀之利點
An Advantage Of Polish

洗練禮儀之1利點: 敵對者決不可能了解洗練禮儀表面下真心 商業遭遇類似POKER: 確實共讀心術者計畫 但彼自非啟示
One advantage of polish is that one's opponent can never tell what is going on under the glazed surface of highly finished manners, whereas an unfinished surface is all too easily penetrated. And since business encounters are often played like poker hands, it is surely a bad plan to be playing with a mind-reader who can plainly divine his opponent's cards, while his own are unrevealed.

不推薦 氣取 刻薄 柔弱口調之禮儀 紳士不滿足女性虛榮 但表達敬意 優良禮儀==慎重考慮關心他人結局
Manners that can by any possibility be construed as mincing, foppish or effeminate are not recommended; but a gentleman who says "Good morning" to his employees and who invariably treats all women as "ladies," does not half so much flatter their vanity as win their respect for himself as a gentleman. Again, good manners are, after all, nothing but courteous consideration of other people's interests and feelings.

不疑完全洗練
Perfect Polish That Is Unsuspected

紳士給予訪問者感周圍慇懃舉動 同一重要一日專心態度 彼時間短時 彼秘書瞬間說 『失禮! Z委員要約』 顯示無關心之紳士 給予訪問者彼遲到印象
He has a courteous manner that makes every one feel there is nothing in the day's work half so important as what his visitor has come to see him about! Nor is this manner insincere; for whatever time one sees him, he gives his undivided attention. Should his time be short, and the moment approach when he is due at an appointment, his secretary enters, a purposely arranged ten minutes ahead of the time necessary for the close of the present interview, and apologetically reminds him, "I'm sorry, Mr. President, but your appointment with the 'Z' committee is due." Mr. President with seeming unconcern, uses up most of the ten minutes, and his lingering close of the conversation gives his visitor the impression that he must have been late at his appointment, and wholly because of the unusual interest felt in his caller.

非誠意或不誠實問題 單引用社會的知識在商業配分 粗雜男性明確表示取除訪問者 由彼之不注意非禮使後者怒氣 熟練男性給予訪問者事情影響下被迫中斷訪問印象 獲得訪問者好意
This is neither sincerity nor insincerity, but merely bringing social knowledge into business dealing. To make a pleasant and friendly impression is not alone good manners, but equally good business. The crude man would undoubtedly show his eagerness to be rid of his visitor, and after offending the latter's self-pride because of his inattentive discourtesy, be late for his own appointment! The man of skill saw his visitor for fewer actual minutes, but gave the impression that circumstances over which he had no control forced him unwillingly to close the interview. He not only gained the good will of his visitor, but arrived at his own appointment in plenty of time.

注意深聽 單1禮儀之規則 談話中見窗外 天井 夢中 使彼退屈
To listen attentively when one is spoken to, is merely one of the rules of etiquette. The man who, while some one is talking to him, gazes out of the window or up at the ceiling, who draws squares and circles on the blotter, or is engrossed in his finger-nails or his shoes, may in his own mind be "finessing," or very likely he is bored! In the first case, the chances are he will lose the game; in the second, lots of people are bored, hideously bored, and most often the fault is their own; always they are at fault who show it.

第XXXIII 章 服裝
CHAPTER XXXIII DRESS

洗練女性
The Woman Who Is Really Chic

『上品服裝』== 表示 獨特樣子完全優雅個性結合個人之尊嚴及優美之同義語
The woman who is chic is always a little different. Not different in being behind fashion, but always slightly apart from it. "Chic" is a borrowed adjective, but there is no English word to take the place of "elegant" which was destroyed utterly by the reporter or practical joker who said "elegant dresses," and yet there is no synonym that will express the individuality of beautiful taste combined with personal dignity and grace which gives to a perfect costume an inimitable air of distinction.

下品之衣服
Vulgar Clothes

下品之衣服 誇張 過細 傾向
Vulgar clothes are those which, no matter what the fashion of the moment may be, are always too elaborate for the occasion; too exaggerated in style, or have accessories out of proportion. People of uncultivated taste are apt to fancy distortions; to exaggerate rather than modify the prevailing fashions.

第 XXXIV 章 紳士之衣服
CHAPTER XXXIV THE CLOTHES OF A GENTLEMAN

選擇紳士服裝方法：研究有能紳士對象訓練知覺　最簡單最安全方法　觀察英國紳士明瞭常識　
If you would dress like a gentleman, you must do one of two things; either study the subject of a gentleman's wardrobe until you are competent to pick out good suits from freaks and direct your misguided tailor, or, at least until your perceptions are trained, go to an English one. This latter method is the easiest, and, by all odds, the safest. It is not Anglomania but plain common sense to admit that, just as the Rue de la Paix in Paris is the fountainhead of fashions for women, Bond Street in London is the home of irreproachable clothes for men.

第XXXV章 禮儀幼稚園
CHAPTER XXXV THE KINDERGARTEN OF ETIQUETTE

基本食桌禮儀
Elementary Table Manners

清潔==基本食桌禮儀: 緩緩小口 不散漏液体 咀嚼時閉口 不汙塗口或桌上
Since a very little child can not hold a spoon properly, and as neatness is the first requisite in table-manners, it should be allowed to hold its spoon as it might take hold of a bar in front of it, back of the hand up, thumb closed over fist. The pusher (a small flat piece of silver at right angles to a handle) is held in the same way, in the left hand. Also in the first eating lessons, a baby must be allowed to put a spoon in its mouth, pointed end foremost. Its first lessons must be to take small mouthfuls, to eat very slowly, to spill nothing, to keep the mouth shut while chewing and not smear its face over. In drinking, a child should use both hands to hold a mug or glass until its hand is big enough so it can easily hold a glass in one. When it can eat without spilling anything or smearing its lips, and drink without making grease "moons" on its mug or tumbler (by always wiping its mouth before drinking), it may be allowed to come to table in the dining-room as a treat, for Sunday lunch or breakfast. Or if it has been taught by its mother at table, she can relax her attention somewhat from its progress. Girls are usually daintier and more easily taught than boys, but most children will behave badly at table if left to their own devices. Even though they may commit no serious offenses, such as making a mess of their food or themselves, or talking with their mouths full, all children love to crumb bread, flop this way and that in their chairs, knock spoons and forks together, dawdle over their food, feed animals─if any are allowed in the room─or become restless and noisy.

刀叉適切使用
The Proper Use Of The Fork

類似鉛筆 手指置於刀叉先端 親指+2手指在刀叉2/3周邊
As soon, therefore, as his hand is dexterous enough, the child must be taught to hold his fork, no longer gripped baby-fashion in his fist, but much as a pencil is held in writing; only the fingers are placed nearer the "top" than the "point," the thumb and two first fingers are closed around the handle two-thirds of the way up the shank, and the food is taken up shovel-wise on the turned-up prongs. At first his little fingers will hold his fork stiffly, but as he grows older his fingers will become more flexible just as they will in holding his pencil. If he finds it hard work to shovel his food, he can, for a while, continue to use his nursery pusher. By and by the pusher is changed for a small piece of bread, which is held in his left hand and between thumb and first two fingers, and against which the fork shovels up such elusive articles as corn, peas, poached egg, etc.

匙
The Spoon

使用匙之際 右手保持 3/4滿 不使液体溢出
In using the spoon, he holds it in his right hand like the fork. In eating cereal or dessert, he may be allowed to dip the bowl of the spoon toward him and eat from the end, but in eating soup he must dip his spoon away from him—turning the outer rim of the bowl down as he does so—fill the bowl not more than three-quarters full and sip it, without noise, out of the side (not the end) of the bowl. The reason why the bowl must not be filled full is because it is impossible to lift a brimming spoonful of liquid to his mouth without spilling some, or in the case of porridge without filling his mouth too full. While still very young he may be taught never to leave the spoon in a cup while drinking out of it, but after stirring the cocoa, or whatever it is, to lay the spoon in the saucer.

刀叉+匙
The Fork And Knife Together

使用刀叉之際 切非常簡單食物 (雞肉) 不試 (軟骨 固骨) 左手刀叉
In being taught to use his knife, the child should at first cut only something very easy, such as a slice of chicken; he should not attempt anything with bones or gristle, or anything that is tough. In his left hand is put his fork with the prongs downward, held near the top of the handle. His index finger is placed on the shank so that it points to the prongs, and is supported at the side by his thumb. His other fingers close underneath and hold the handle tight. He must never be allowed to hold his fork emigrant fashion, perpendicularly clutched in the clenched fist, and to saw across the food at its base with his knife.

小刀
The Knife

右手刀叉 左手小刀 切斷肉後左手持運口舌 學習一度中斷一口食
The knife is held in his right hand exactly as the fork is held in his left, firmly and at the end of the handle, with the index finger pointing down the back of the blade. In cutting he should learn not to scrape the back of the fork prongs with the cutting edge of the knife. Having cut off a mouthful, he thrusts the fork through it, with prongs pointed downward and conveys it to his mouth with his left hand. He must learn to cut off and eat one mouthful at a time.

小刀絕不入口 柔食物 (麵包 卵 野菜)肉料理細切 小刀不抱肉皮 刀叉處理全部
It is unnecessary to add that the knife must never be put in his mouth; nor is it good form to use the knife unnecessarily. Soft foods, like croquettes, hash on toast, all eggs and vegetables, should be cut or merely broken apart with the edge of the fork held like the knife, after which the fork is turned in the hand to first (or shovel) position. The knife must never be used to scoop baked potato out of the skin, or to butter potato. A fork must be used for all manipulations of vegetables; butter for baked potatoes taken on the tip of the fork shovel fashion, laid on the potato, and then pressed down and mixed with the prongs held points curved up.

座式
Table Tricks That Must Be Corrected

直座 手腕 置膝上 不容易陷入不注意態度 手指絕不觸食物 拍動食桌 或屈曲拭口布巾
To sit up straight and keep their hands in their laps when not occupied with eating, is very hard for a child, but should be insisted upon in order to prevent a careless attitude that all too readily degenerates into flopping this way and that, and into fingering whatever is in reach. He must not be allowed to warm his hands on his plate, or drum on the table, or screw his napkin into a rope or make marks on the tablecloth. If he shows talent as an artist, give him pencils or modeling wax in his playroom, but do not let him bite his slice of bread into the silhouette of an animal, or model figures in soft bread at the table. And do not allow him to construct a tent out of two forks, or an automobile chassis out of tumblers and knives. Food and table implements are not playthings, nor is the dining-room a playground.

食桌談話
Talking At Table

長輩出席時 教導兒童見母親 母親說 『何事?』 兒童要求後 母親說『現在不便 母親與X談話中』
When older people are present at table and a child wants to say something, he must be taught to stop eating momentarily and look at his mother, who at the first pause in the conversation will say, "What is it, dear?" And the child then has his say. If he wants merely to launch forth on a long subject of his own conversation, his mother says, "Not now, darling, we will talk about that by and by," or "Don't you see that mother is talking to Aunt Mary?"

兒童與母親共單獨時 訓練食桌禮儀 母親許允兒童成人待遇
When children are at table alone with their mother, they should not only be allowed to talk but unconsciously trained in table conversation as well as in table manners. Children are all more or less little monkeys in that they imitate everything they see. If their mother treats them exactly as she does her visitors they in turn play "visitor" to perfection. Nothing hurts the feelings of children more than not being allowed to behave like grown persons when they think they are able.

食桌上閑靜
Quietness At Table

年長兒童 橫道下側不立音 不輕打角落 不伸手觸食物 手握席靜座 不跳搖 離食桌之際 靜靜往後押椅子 但不觸食桌 不出音
Older children should not be allowed to jerk out their chairs, to flop down sideways, to flick their napkins by one corner, to reach out for something, or begin to eat nuts, fruit or other table decorations. A child as well as a grown person should sit down quietly in the center of his chair and draw it up to the table (if there is no one to push it in for him) by holding the seat in either hand while momentarily lifting himself on his feet. He must not "jump" or "rock" his chair into place at the table. In getting up from the table, again he must push his chair back quietly, using his hands on either side of the chair seat, and not by holding on to the table edge and giving himself, chair and all, a sudden shove! There should never be a sound made by the pushing in or out of chairs at table.

平等競爭
Fair Play

兒童喜好正義 育兒室教導『公明正大行動』 互相尊敬他人特性及權利 教導幼童不注意貧弱兒童之所有物
Nothing appeals to children more than justice, and they should be taught in the nursery to "play fair" in games, to respect each other's property and rights, to give credit to others, and not to take too much credit to themselves. Every child must be taught never to draw attention to the meagre possessions of another child whose parents are not as well off as her own.

關於肘
On The Subject Of Elbows

練習在食桌上不置肘
Although elbows on the table are seen constantly in highest fashionable circles, a whole table's length of elbows planted like clothes-line poles and hands waving glasses or forks about in between, is neither an attractive nor (fortunately) an accurate picture of a fashionable dinner table. As a matter of fact, the tolerated elbow-on-table is used only on occasion and for a reason, and should neither be permitted to children nor practised in their presence.

飲食中決不在食桌上置肘 (例: 右手喫食間 不在食桌上置左肘)
Elbows are never put on the table while one is eating. To sit with the left elbow propped on the table while eating with the right hand (unless one is alone and ill), or to prop the right one on the table while lifting the fork or glass to the mouth, must be avoided.

第XXXVII章 海外旅行
CHAPTER XXXVII TRAVELING AT HOME AND ABROAD

完壁之旅行者
The Perfect Traveler.

完全之旅行者氣質: 愉快 落?狀況下保持熱心 瞬間不快 上品洒落 保持時間嚴守美德 在最後1分不忘所有品 隨時準備包袋 不嫌惡從厲團体活動 自身之不快中加入無念 默認旅行中 精神苦痛 惡天氣 乘換誤點 不滿意他人等問題 『一度不必要的開始』 必完成
One might say the perfect traveler is one whose digestion is perfect, whose disposition is cheerful, who can be enthusiastic under the most discouraging circumstances, to whom discomfort is of no moment, and who possesses at least a sense of the ridiculous, if not a real sense of humor! The perfect traveler furthermore, is one who possesses the virtue of punctuality; one who has not forgotten something at the last minute, and whose bags are all packed and down at the hour for the start. Those who fuss and flurry about being ready, or those whose disposition is easily upset or who are inclined to be gloomy, should not travel—unless they go alone. Nothing can spoil a journey more than some one who is easily put out of temper and who always wants to do something the others do not. Whether traveling with your family or with comparative strangers, you must realize that your personal likes and dislikes have at least on occasion to be subordinated to the likes and dislikes of others; nor can you always be comfortable, or have good weather, or make perfect connections, or find everything to your personal satisfaction; and you only add to your own discomfort and chagrin, as well as to the discomfort of every one else, by refusing to be philosophical. Those who are bad sailors should not go on yachting parties; they are always abjectly wretched, and are of no use to themselves or any one else. Those who hate walking should not start out on a tramp that is much too far for them and expect others to turn back when they get tired. They need not "start" to begin with, but having once started, they must see it through.

男性(女性)之 『摩耗』品質 與彼旅行證明 隨時準備 付隨 不表示不快 不配慮短所
There is no greater test of a man's (or a woman's) "wearing" qualities than traveling with him. He who is always keen and ready for anything, delighted with every amusing incident, willing to overlook shortcomings, and apparently oblivious of discomfort, is, needless to say, the one first included on the next trip.